Page 430 of A Matter of Time

“Aaron?”

He dropped the umbrella, put his hands on my face, and kissed me. It was so spontaneous, like he never was, that it caught me off guard. He usually asked if something was okay or not, announced all his intentions, and received permission or not. That he was just suddenly kissing me, on the street, out of the blue, his tongue sliding over my lips, seeking entrance…it was a shock.

“Aaron.” I choked out his name as I took hold of his wrists and pulled his hands off me. I took a step back before he could recover. “What’s going on?”

“Jory,” he sighed, his eyes soft. “I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry all the way back to the first time I took you to bed and was careful instead of how I really wanted to be. I’m sorry for not telling you everything I was ever thinking, and I’m sorry for ever making you feel like you were less than perfect just the way you are.” He smiled quickly, then bit his lip before raking his hair back from his face. “See, I want you back, and I’ll do whatever you want to make that happen.”

All I could do was stare at him.

“I should have told you that all I did when I was away was think about you. I mean, I missed talking to you and laughing with you and arguing with you and being in bed with you and just all of it. You make my life fun, you make me laugh at myself, and you infuse my house with this warmth that’s just gone now.”

I had no idea what to say.

He reached out and captured my face in his hands again. “Jory, I don’t give a shit about anything else. I don’t care if you fall down drunk every night we go out, as long as I get to take you home with me.”

I took another step back from him. “What are you doing here?”

He looked at me oddly. “I just unburdened my soul to you and you want to know what I’m doing here?”

“Yeah.”

His voice had a thread of chill to it. “I called Dylan, and she said you were here giving your buddy Aiden support.”

I nodded.

“Could you please respond to what I just said to you?”

I took another step away from him. “I appreciate what you said, and I’m flattered, but you and I are over as anything else but friends.”

“Jory.”

“C’mon, Aaron.” I squinted at him. “You know that.”

“Jory—”

“If you really look at us…you know I’m not the one for you.”

His eyes were scared. “Come home and talk to me.”

One more step back and I was successfully out of arm’s reach. “I can’t do that. You know I can’t. There’s no way.”

His entire expression hardened. “Why? Because of that detective? How does he rate a second chance but I don’t? I didn’t leave you for years and then just show up one day out of the blue. I never had you take a bullet for me! I never hurt you the way he did!”

I took a breath. “Because you can’t,” I said, because it was better that he knew so he could be done with me.

“What?”

“You could never hurt me the same way he could.”

We were both silent, letting my words seep in, and he suddenly saw the size of the chasm between us. I had to make him see it so he understood that there was no way to get back across.

He took a breath through his nose, stood rod-straight, and looked at me with flat eyes. “I could never hurt you like that because you never loved me enough to let me.”

I nodded slowly.

“God, Jory, you really love him.”

“He’s the only man I’ve ever loved,” I said, and he could hear the honesty.