Page 359 of A Matter of Time

“We had to remove his spleen, and I know that sounds scary, but it’s really not. I’m sorry we had you wait so long without word on him, but even though it was critical at the beginning, he really came through so much better than we could have hoped.”

“Thank you.”

He smiled slightly. “He didn’t sustain any traumatic damage to his brain or spine. He’s a very lucky man. It could have been so much worse.”

But he didn’t say he was going to be fine.

“You can come in, and maybe one other person, but that’s it.”

I grabbed his hand, squeezed tight. “Thank you. Really…thank you.”

He nodded, his eyes on mine, and suddenly he smiled. “What’s your first name?”

“Jory.”

He sighed, his hand going to my shoulder. “I thought it might be—he said it a lot.”

I felt the smile on my face.

His smile deepened. “Something about a swear jar?”

“I’m working on him.”

“Well, that’s good. All of us should have someone trying to help us be better.”

I felt like the tears were just waiting to drown me and him and everyone else for miles.

“Come on—who’s coming with you?”

I reached for Regina’s hand, and she grabbed mine tight. We followed Dr. Kohara together.

The room sounded like a pet store full of chirping birds, but it was the machines whirring and beeping, little alarms going off, things pinging, all of it there to monitor different parts of the man’s anatomy. I was glad he didn’t look small in the bed. He looked the same, just still, and the fact that he was breathing on his own, no machine hooked up to his face, made me very happy. His right cheek was scraped, and there was dried blood in splotches everywhere. He had a bandage over his right eyebrow, lots of IV tubes coming out of him, and the oxygen monitor clipped to his middle finger. I put another blanket over his feet because I didn’t want them to get cold. I always froze in hospitals.

“His color is good.” Regina sighed, her smile brilliant. “Oh, Jory, he looks so good.” She took the hand without the monitor on it as I leaned up to his forehead and kissed him gently. When I pulled back, I voiced the thought that had been screaming in my head for the past ten, going on eleven, hours.

“This is all my fault.”

“I’m sorry?”

I looked over at my boyfriend’s mother. “The guy—he went after Sam to get to me. I put Sam in danger. This is all my fault.”

“No-no-no.” She shook her head. “This is no more your fault than it is Dane’s. This man wants to hurt Dane, so he goes after you, and in getting to you now, he’s taken his wrath out on Sam. It’s⁠—”

“Okay,” I placated her. “You’re right.”

She let me soothe her, and I was glad, because it would have been harder if she didn’t trust me. I didn’t need her checking on me. I needed to be able to leave without anybody realizing it. I knew what I had to do, even though I didn’t really want to do it.

I went back out of the room and sent Sam’s father in while I thanked everyone for being there. I told them all how he looked and how he was breathing by himself. I spent the next half an hour hugging them all goodbye and telling each of them how much it meant that they were there. It was tough arguing with Dane, because he wanted me to go home with him and Aja. Even though there had been, and still was, a police car permanently sitting on the street in front of my building, he felt like it wasn’t safe enough. And it was hard to argue with him as Sam’s car had been rigged with a bomb. But, as had been pointed out to Dane, that could have been placed anywhere it had been parked. The supposition had been made, even though the wreckage hadn’t yet been examined, that the device could not have been on a timer, but instead had been remotely detonated. The two officers hadn’t seen anyone close by, but they wouldn’t have missed someone planting it on Sam’s SUV. Everyone agreed that I would be safe at home. Regardless, when Regina came out of the room, she wanted me to come home with her. I promised to be there tomorrow, but I wanted to stay at the hospital. Everyone understood.

Back in the room with Sam, I held his hand and told him how much I loved him.

“You know, I understand now. When you left me in the hospital to go off and keep me safe, I mean. I get how that was all you could do. Because I’m gonna do the same, so you have to forgive me as well.” I smiled at him. “I gotta find this guy, Sam. I can’t let anyone hurt you again. My heart won’t recover from any more of this shit.”

I leaned up and kissed his lips, and when I pulled back, I stared at his face a long moment, ingraining it in my memory. It would have to last for just a little while.

I went home and packed a small duffel bag at nine in the morning. I turned all the lights on in the apartment at first, left one on in the living room, then turned off the one in my bedroom an hour later. I left my phone on my nightstand, went out the window to the fire escape, and took that to the alley behind my building. The cops never even saw me leave.

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