Page 157 of A Matter of Time

“How do I not worry? I⁠—”

“Sam,” I said softly, “have you noticed that we catch a break and then split apart again?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I mean, we have these moments of bliss followed by total shit.” I was weary, and I could hear it in my voice. “It’s exhausting, isn’t it?”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m not trying to say anything, I’m telling you straight up. You are not ready for me.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I saw you with that girl, Sam. I saw how you were looking at her. You can’t lie now and tell me you weren’t interested in her. I watched you. Maggie Dixon interests you.”

“So what?”

There was no denial, only the defensive retort. I’d hit a nerve. “So go with it—see where it leads.”

“You think I need your permission, you cocky piece of shit?”

“I think what you said that night in the car was all true. You want what your parents have, but you wanna be in bed with me. You can’t have both.”

“You don’t get to say what I can or cannot have.”

“I know, but we keep doin’ this, and the outcome never changes. We shatter at the first hint of trouble.”

“We don’t shatter, you run. You always run.”

“It’s true, but you gotta ask yourself why that is.”

“Don’t lay your shit on me.”

“God,” I almost yelled, “don’t be so defensive. Just listen for once.”

“I am listening. I always listen, because you talk all the fuckin’ time.”

I let out a long sigh. “Just be honest. I don’t fit in your life, Sam. You left me tonight at the party because it would’ve looked weird if you kept me with you. I know it, you know it. Maggie fits perfect. I don’t.”

“You don’t know anything.”

“Deny that you abandoned me.”

“Jory, it was Dom’s birthday—it was about him, not you.”

“So wanting you with me or wanting you to include me, that was just selfish on my part?”

“Why couldn’t you have mingled with my friends?”

“Why couldn’t you have kept me with you?”

“I’m supposed to do, what, hold your hand all night?”

“I didn’t expect that, not there, in front of all your people. I just expected to be included.”

“You are incapable of thinking about anyone else but yourself.”

“Is that right?”