Page 137 of A Matter of Time

“Jory…”

I was good at changing the subject when people were drowning in too much emotion. I needed to help him not push himself under. “That night you saw me out, did you really think I looked like a rent boy?” I asked softly.

“No.” His voice sounded hoarse, crackly.

“Did I look good?”

“Yes.”

“Do I look good now?”

In answer, he was on me, fast. I didn’t even hear him unlatch his seat belt before his mouth was sealing over mine, his tongue pushing for entrance that I instantly allowed.

As soon as my lips parted, his tongue swept inside, and I undid my own seat belt, which allowed him to gather me close, crushing me against him, kissing me so hard, so long, reacquainting himself with every part of my mouth. When I pulled back to look up into his face, he bit my bottom lip to keep me close. I smiled, and he ended up kissing my nose, my eyes, still holding me in his arms so tight.

“Did you sleep with the blonde?” I asked, holding my breath.

His voice was low and husky, filled with gravel. “No, Jory. I don’t sleep with anyone but you.”

“Then why say those things you said? Why say you wanted to get married and⁠—”

“’Cause I do wanna get married, but you were being so fuckin’ smug,” he barked at me, letting me go suddenly, pushing me back into my seat. “After we left my folks’ place that day, you started talking like of course I’m gonna do this or that, talkin’ like you fuckin’ own me, like I belong to you…and for you it’s so easy, you just fall in love and⁠—”

“Who says I’m in love?” I argued.

His scowl was back. “Oh fuck you. I know you’ve got it bad, so don’t even try and sit there and pretend you don’t. How fast you ran, what you did, calling Dom instead of me. All that shit is about you creating drama because your feelings got hurt. Well, fuck you, J. You don’t just run off if I do some stupid shit. You call me on it and tell me I’m an idiot and tell me where to go. That’s what you do. All that shit I said that Sunday—you think I meant any of that?”

I just stared at him.

His laugh was more a bark. “Fuck, you did. That’s funny. I would’ve thought you knew me better.”

“Why say it if you didn’t mean it?” I repeated my earlier question.

“Because I was mad!” he roared at me, his hand on the back of my head to pull me close, staring into my eyes. “You can be gay and have your life and be whatever, but me, if I have you, there’s stuff I gotta let go.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t let it go,” I said honestly, staring deep into his beautiful eyes. “I mean, you resenting me down the road does not sound like a good time.”

He cupped my face in his hands, drawing me close to kiss me breathless. He kissed me so long, so hard, I could hear my heart pounding in my ears from lack of oxygen.

I tore my mouth free, and his hands went to my ass as he drew me across the seat, over the emergency brake, and into his lap, his mouth on my throat, biting, licking, sucking, and kissing whatever skin he could reach. I trembled hard under his hands. He felt so good, and I had never thought in a million years he would be the one holding me again.

“I have no choice anymore,” he confessed, running his nose up the side of my neck as his lips trailed over my skin. “Need you. Can’t sleep without you, and it’s only you. There’s no woman I want…no other guy…just you. I am completely addicted to you.”

He was? “You are?”

“Yeah.” He sounded so miserable. “Shit.”

I smiled at him. “You don’t sound very happy about it.”

“Because it would be a helluva lot easier if I didn’t feel like this.”

I looked into his eyes.

“But see, I’m crazy about you makin’ tea whenever there’s a problem and your smell on my sheets and having you next to me in the middle of the night… I mean, I got used to all that so fuckin’ fast.”

He was a mess, and I loved it.

“You put me through it when you left, and I’ve been so…pissed…at you. And then that night I saw you out and you looked like you’re okay, you’re fine without me, and… and I just wanted to take you home and… Then the other night. What if you were hurt or killed or… What the fuck am I supposed to do? And that asshole tonight, he thinks he’s got a shot with you. Everybody thinks they’ve got a shot because I’m not around and…it’s not gonna fuckin’ happen! I will not allow it to happen. I want you with me all the time. Can’t have anyone else touching you or…You belong to me. You get that, right? You’re mine. I think I’m gonna mark you—put my name on you so everybody knows you’re⁠—”