Page 53 of The Allure of Ruins

EIGHT

We bought several things at the store because he wanted to cook breakfast for me in the morning, plus, that way, the lube was among other items and didn’t stand out. I told him we were grown-ups and it didn’t matter. Fun to watch him blush.

“We should get some condoms too,” I said, reaching for them.

“No,” he said tightly, and I turned to him. “I’ve never not used one, and I know it’s been a very long time for you.”

My voice lowered to a whisper. “Yes, but I was taken once, from Gen, and during that time, I don’t know exactly what was––”

“But that was forever ago, nearly a decade, and you’ve been tested since then,” he said firmly. “Probably many times. I know you, so I’m sure of it.”

“How?”

He shrugged. “I know you better’n anyone.”

I nodded.

“And before that?”

“I’ve never in my life not used one.”

“With anyone?”

I knew what he was asking. Had I used one with Gen? “With anyone,” I answered.

“So it’ll be our thing…the not using them.”

“Yes,” I said, overcome with his trust in me.

He threw an arm around my neck, pulling me close, tucking me in tight against him before he kissed my temple.

I had to wonder if it would be like this from now on, because I could easily get used to the constant affection and closeness. But then as we were walking home, each of us carrying one of his recyclable tote bags and holding hands, I had an epiphany. The affection and closeness were already there. We always walked with me holding on to his arm, that had been the case since the beginning, and then later, him holding my hand or my bicep. The only part that was new was the kisses, and when I made him stop in the middle of the sidewalk, hand on the lapel of his peacoat, tugging him down to me, there was a wicked grin before he took my mouth, kissing me breathless right there.

“Oh,” I murmured, my sigh long.

“Tell me.” His voice shook, gruff with affection.

“Colton Gates, I love you so much.”

“I knew it all along,” he said smugly. “Whenever I look into all that blue, I think: his eyes never get soft and dark like that for anyone but me.”

“You’ve noticed my eyes?”

“Of course,” he grumbled, taking hold of my hand and giving a gentle tug to get me moving. “Everyone does. When people come into the office and meet you for the first time, they end up staring. It happens constantly and I fuckin’ hate it.”

They didn’t, I wasn’t blind, but I loved that he thought so. “Is that right?”

“Yes, that’s—don’t be stupid.”

I didn’t laugh, just walked beside him, held his hand, and soaked in the sunshine that was him. I couldn’t remember ever being happier.

He made way too much food, but fortunately, even though he wasn’t a clean-as-you-go person, I was. When we were both drinking tea as the sun came up, he yawned loudly.

I laughed, and he shook his head. “Not sexy.”

“Actually, it very much was,” I assured him. “You’re content at the moment.”

“I’m always content when you’re with me,” he murmured, his eyelids drooping.