Page 18 of George’s Big Day

“But I get why Suzie needs me. Geneva does not share any of her mother’s interests. Not one. She doesn’t even like jewelry, for heaven’s sake. What is that even about? Who doesn’t like jewelry, George?”

“She’s a child of nature, not material possessions.”

Her groan was loud.

“She’s at one with the universe, Kurt said.”

“I hate both her and her wife.”

“You do not.”

“Fine, but the two of them, living off the land with the compost toilet and that horrible trailer? All sustainable and gross. Good God. That’s as close to hell as I ever want to get.”

I couldn’t help laughing.

“And they’re both vegans, and they do all that yoga, and neither has ever heard of deodorant or shaving, but worst of all, like the pinnacle of horror, is that neither drinks coffee.”

“That’s not really a bad⁠—”

“They don’t even drink black tea. Only that herbal shit.”

“You’re being very judgmental right now. Kurt says their systems are free of impurities, toxins…they eat clean, they’re both in great shape, and they are completely self-sustaining with their tea business. I understand there’s one for everything.”

“Did you hear me? No caffeine? Like ever? Never ever?”

“Kurt says the soaps they make are amazing.”

“Well, Kurt is a big fat liar, in case you didn’t know.”

“Is he?” I goaded her.

“And then there’s Brad’s brother, Dave,” she went on, ignoring me, “and his wife the high-powered tax attorney with her immaculate, modern style. All white walls and glass. I’ve never been in a house so devoid of warmth.”

“You’re just jealous,” I baited her, the chuckling giving me away. “Kurt said she enlightened him on the difference between eggshell and ecru, ivory and alabaster, and⁠—”

“Stop.”

“Whatever, who cares. She loves Dave and is supporting him while he writes his magnum opus that will be the next Game of Thrones.”

“If he ever finishes it.”

“Have faith, kitten.”

Her laugh was pure evil.

“Anyway, I’m here, so thank you. I will never forget you taking my mind off Kurt during this drive. I owe you.”

“George, my love, last Christmas you saved me and my family from actual death. I tease you, but you are forever golden.”

“Aww.”

“Even more importantly, you love my brother the way I always dreamed it would be. The way you look at him… I could not be happier.”

“Well, I don’t do it for you.”

“Yes, I know.”

“And he’s very loveable.”