Page 102 of Floodgates

“That’s nuts.”

“It was, but no one knew until Turi’s funeral that he and Breckin were in love.”

I leaned forward, grabbed his hand, and held it tight. He rolled his hand in my grip so he was holding mine back. “Is that when you found out too?”

He shook his head. “No. When his mother sent me to his room before the funeral to get what clothes I thought he should be buried in—”

“What you thought?”

“Yeah,” he replied softly, squeezing my hand tighter. “She was… she was upset because in his note…. She had no idea he was gay.”

“Oh. What did she do?”

“Almost all of his stuff went to Goodwill the following day. I took his journals, his letters, his drawings, some of his clothes—everything I could grab when I left.”

“And whatever he was buried in.”

“Yeah.”

“And then what?”

“I took the clothes to the funeral home.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry.”

His eyes had filled and were sparkling with tears as he stared at me. “I saw the rest of his things getting picked up the next day.”

I sat quietly, listening.

“She saw me out there, in my car, watching, and when she came to the window, she gave me his gold St. Christopher medal.”

“That was nice.”

“Yeah, I’d wondered where it was, but I guess he had taken it off before he hung himself in his closet, so she had it. She told me she was glad that he died because his choice to love men went against God’s law, but that she knew I wasn’t filthy like Breckin, so she wanted me to have it.”

“Oh. She didn’t know about him and Breckin before she read the note?”

“No. Nobody did except Breckin’s folks. He told me he came out to them, like, a week before, and then at the reception after the funeral at the country club, he came out to everyone.”

I could only imagine how hard that had been for Breckin.

“You know, Mr. and Mrs. Carrera would have disowned Turi if he’d lived, so it was just so hypocritical to see them at the reception talking to me and all his friends, other parents, acting like they gave a damn. I hated every minute of it.”

I cleared my throat. “So he left a note, and in it he said he and Breckin were in love.”

“Yes.”

“Then I don’t get why he would kill himself since Breckin loved him back, right?”

Releasing my hand, Lucien leaned back from the table. “Like I said, Breckin had told his folks about Turi a week before, and I guess they dropped a bomb on him.”

“Which was what?”

“They told him if being gay was his choice, he could pay for college on his own because they certainly wouldn’t. They didn’t approve of what they felt was his lifestyle choice, so they were cutting him off.”

“But Breckin paid for college himself. I know he did. He never had any contact with his parents, so what the hell? I’m so confused.”

“Well, I guess he and Turi had this big coming-out planned at Breckin’s graduation party, but Breckin broke up with him instead.”