Page 95 of The Big Fix

I could only stare at him.

Dante shrugged. “Is that what you think?”

“Of course that’s not what I think,” I almost shouted, charging across the kitchen and stepping in front of him, interrupting his cooking.

“Things are going to burn,” he grumbled.

“You’re one of the best men I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing. You’re honest and noble and—”

He laughed at me. In my face. And before I could hit him, he lunged at me, grabbing me tight and hugging me hard. “It’s time to let this go,” he said gruffly, the emotion messing with him as much as it was with me. “Enough with the past. Enough, Jared. You’re a hero in some stories, a villain in others. You’ve always been so concerned with who you think you should be versus who you actually are.”

That was the gospel truth there.

“Stop, Jared.”

I waited for more.

He grinned then, with an eyebrow waggle for good measure.

I stared at him. “That’s it? Your sage advice? Just stop?”

“Listen,” he said, exhaling deeply. “You need to forgive yourself for your mistakes and failures. You’ve done your best. Always. You’re accountable for what you’ve done, good and bad, but you have to live in the present. You don’t have a choice.” He gave me a gentle pat on the cheek. “Regret is useless.”

“You’re saying you have no regrets?”

He thought a moment. “No. I don’t have time. I have to be in the present. We’re old sinners, you and I, but like Jing said, the intentions were good.”

“You know what they say about intentions,” I reminded him.

He shrugged. “If hell it is and that’s how I’m judged, I’ll have really good company.”

I nodded, felt the tears welling.

“Jing, come stir this, please,” he said, and she moved fast as he took me into his arms a second time. “Be done carrying the dead,” he whispered in my ear. “It’s time.”

It had been time decades ago, but I was built loyal, and so the love and penance had to balance.

“You’re all paid up, Jared. Time to step out into the light.”

It was.

When he let go, he told us to have a seat at the table.

Walking in a daze, I retook my seat beside Owen, and the way his face lit up was beautiful to see. He leaned close and kissed the side of my neck.

“Oh,” Arden sighed. “Finally.”

I glanced at her as dishes began to arrive on the table. “You don’t think I’m too old for him?”

“Uh, no, boss,” Arden said, chuckling. “I always wondered how long it would take.”

Jing was helping Dante carry serving dishes. “This always made sense to me,” she said, tipping her head at Owen. “I mean, Owen’s the only one who really gets you.”

I squinted at her. “Gets me?”

“Yeah,” she said like it was obvious. “He actually laughs at your jokes.”

Turning to him, I found him giving me a big fake smile, all teeth. “You really think I’m funny?”