Page 26 of The Big Fix

“I think it’s old news, just like you saving him from prison when he was eighteen. The fuck does either of those things have to do with him being all grown up now and wanting to do bad things to you in the sack?”

“You’re so deluded.”

Chris nodded. “Yeah, sure. That’s me. Deluded.”

“You don’t understand. He’s more my ward than anything else.”

He laughed over that one.

“Chris, I—”

“He’s been living in your house since he was twenty-four, day in and day out, watching you be you in all your heroic glory, so of course he’s gonna fall for you. Hell, if I swung that way, I’d be hot for you as well.”

That took a second to process. “That is the most terrifying thing you’ve ever said to me.”

He shrugged and cracked a smile. “Come on, Jared. Owen’s all grown up, so it makes sense that it’s you he wants. You’re you. You’re the hero. You saved him, made his world safe, then did it again so he could be exactly who he was supposed to be.” His hands grew animated as he explained. “He was off the track, and then you put him right back on. In what realm of the imagination would Owen Moss not have fallen madly in love with you?”

“But that’s gratitude, not—”

“When he was eighteen with a fresh start in college, sure, that was gratitude. But now, at thirty-two… Use your head, buddy.”

I had to lie down, so I turned around on the chaise and did just that.

“You’re a retired Army colonel and ex-Army Intelligence. How the fuck do you miss something as big as Owen being in love with you?”

I had no idea.

He was waiting for an answer, I could tell from his face.

Maybe that was why Owen was so pissed at me all the time. Perhaps he was mad because I had completely missed his desire. And he’d gone off into the world, thinking I didn’t care, when the exact opposite was true.

I thought about him all the time. I stayed away, and I was careful. I purposely reminded him of our age difference and always added kid whenever possible. Distance between us was necessary so I wouldn’t grab hold of him and kiss him breathless. Because I wanted the very best for him, and a man twenty-four years his senior wasn’t it. He needed someone to grow old with, to raise a family with, to have a whole life with. What I could offer was small. He deserved the whole world.

“Okay,” Chris said, sighing deeply. “Lemme ask you a question, because I actually haven’t seen you two together in a couple years. But before Jill and I started dating—”

“You didn’t date her. You moved her in three days after the first time you guys slept together, and eventually, she fell in love with you because she’s a victim of Stockholm syndrome.”

“Oh, she is not, and I never kept her against her will.”

He hadn’t, of course. His wife adored the idiot for reasons I actually did understand. Once you peeled away the gruff and growly outer layer, the man underneath was a bit prickly, yes, but with a good heart. He was completely devoted to his wife and three daughters, and God help you if you were mean to any of his girls. When Chris made men disappear, they never turned back up. It was his specialty.

“Anyway,” he groused at me, “when Jill was interested in me and I missed it… I mean, I’m lucky to still be alive. She was always so pissed, and I had no clue until she finally nearly ran me over with her car, then got out and said something like, ‘I love you, fuckhead. Are we doing this or not?’”

“Oh, good God.”

“Yeah,” he said, grinning at me. “Romantic as hell.”

I shook my head.

“Maybe don’t stand anywhere out in the open when Owen’s behind a wheel.”

I took a stuttering breath. “I want to see him behind the wheel of a car again, Chris.”

“You will. I know it,” he assured me, reaching out to gently pound my knee with his fist. “He doesn’t feel dead to me, and you know I have a sense about this kinda stuff.”

He did, it was true. More times than I could count he would say, let’s go get whoever it was, and other times he’d shake his head and tell us it would be a recovery, not a rescue.

“Just wait, okay? Don’t give up yet.”