Page 123 of Last Man Standing

“Sebastion?”

He nods. It’s silent and forced, aching and wary.

For perhaps the first time ever, I wish I could be inside his brain.

“A-are you okay?” Frowning, I start across the room and stop between his open legs. This would normally be all it takes for his eyes to come up. Being so close would typically result in his hands on my hips and his tongue coming out to circle his lips.

But not this time.

Not tonight.

Oh God.

“Sebastion? I can’t take more stress right now.” I lower into a crouch and rest my elbows right beside his. “I know life is really hard at the moment. There’s a lot going on, and you have this whiny chick taking up half of your room.”

Finally, his eyes flicker open and search mine.

“I get that my presence has been nothing but dramatic and tiring for you. But I’d like to think your mom’s invitation was truly genuine.” Not necessarily for me, but absolutely for her son. “I don’t want to make things worse by snubbing her. But I really don’t want to go in there and be left alone.” I shift on the balls of my feet and come closer, wrapping my hands around his wrists and using him to balance myself. “I have no right to demand more of you. But I will. Tonight.” My voice crackles with a deep ache. “Please don’t abandon me.”

“My mission has changed, Scarlett.”

“I…” I study his haunted expression through narrowed eyes. “What?”

“I told you back at Nova’s house that if shit was going down and the world was on fire, that I would save my mother, even if it meant sacrificing you.”

“Yes, I⁠—”

“My mission has changed.” He cups my face in his massive, dinner-plate-sized hands and folds his back to bring us closer. “Fuck, Princess. I don’t know if I’ll be the best decision you ever make, or the worst. I don’t know if I’m cut out to be the man you deserve… or even want. I don’t know, Scarlett.” He exhales a shuddering breath. “I don’t know much at all. But I know my mission has changed, so if the world is on fire and I’m forced to choose…” He swallows audibly. Nervously. “I choose you.”

He straightens his back and drags me higher, then he trades my face for my backside and pulls me onto his lap until I’m straddling his thighs and our noses almost touch. “I’ll always love my family, and I hope there’ll come a time eventually where I can leave you and my mom in the same room alone and not worry someone is gonna die… or cry,” he adds on a groan. “My entire life has centered on protecting the people I love. So, really, my mission hasn’t changed much. Just the list of priorities.”

Bringing his left hand up beside us, he explains, “It used to be my mom.” He drops it just the smallest notch. “My dad and brothers.” Another notch. “Myself. Because I’m a selfish motherfucker like that.” Another notch. “Nova. Nova’s brother. Even Linc, since he was Nova’s protection. But now…” He thrusts his hand higher, much higher, far above where his old list began. “You.”

My jaw wobbles to the same tune as my thrumming heart.

“It’s just you up here, Princess. Then me, because if you exist, I exist. If you’re alive, I’m alive.” He lowers his hand a few inches, back to where his mother first sat. “It’s not that I love my family less. It’s not that they don’t matter, or that they don’t deserve my protection. It’s just that…” He draws a noisy breath through his nose. “Well… I love you more.”

My body does that thing it always does. Tears flood my eyes and burn in the corners. My heart stutters and sprints, and my hands shake. But what I don’t do, what I don’t allow, is freeze. I press my forehead to his and breathe the air he expels. “You’re not a junker car.”

He exhales a soft laugh. “No.”

“And I’m not a junker car either.”

He shakes his head, just the tiniest shift so as not to push me away. “Definitely not.”

“I’m scared.”

He drops his hands to my hips and pulls me closer. “Me too.”

I lower my chin and press a trembling kiss to his lips. “I love you, too. It’s the craziest thing,” I snicker. “Because I was having so much fun hating you. But here we are anyway.”

He wraps his arm around my torso and spins, slamming my back to the bed and startling a squeal from the depths of my chest. Then he follows me down, his knee between my legs and his beautiful eyes searching mine. “Here we are.” He presses a gentle, nibbling kiss to my lips. “I’ve never loved anyone who wasn’t my family before, and I’ve never loved a woman, ever, except that one we’re not talking about right now. So I can’t promise I won’t screw this up. I’m the guy who’ll err on the side of saying dickish things, and if you’ve got a problem I think is dumb, it’s gonna take a lot of deprogramming for me not to walk away and let you stew in your bad mood all day. I was raised predominantly with men, and the only female in my life isn’t exactly Suzy Homemaker. I’m gonna screw up. I’ll piss you off. But I swear,” he lays another, slower, deeper kiss on my lips. “I’m gonna try my best to make this a decision you won’t regret. I promise to always put you first, Princess. But I need you to promise not to assume the worst straight out of the gate.”

Emotion backs up in my throat and makes it hard to breathe. Still, I drag my bottom lip between my teeth and suckle him from the swell. “Okay. I promise.”

“If I fuck up, tell me,” he rasps. “Talk to me about it. If I’m not listening, talk louder. Scream.” He trails his fingertips gently over the pulse pounding on the side of my neck. “Chamber a slug and aim it right at me if you have to. Make me listen. But please don’t assume the worst. And definitely don’t bail.”

I draw a shaking breath and stretch my lungs. “I promise. But can we revisit the dinner thing?”