Page 61 of Raising the Duke’s Unexpected Twins

“Say that you like the renovations?” she asked hopefully.

“I do! They’re wonderful.” Her heart fluttered at thoughts of Nicholas’s kindness. He really was turning into something unexpected, but also still confusing.

“Come. You look as though you have a lot on your mind. Your sisters will be playing with the children for a little. We can talk a little without them.”

They entered the old familiar sitting room, and new pillows had been purchased for the sofas and chairs, no longer any faded ones left. It was as if at that moment, she had said goodbye to her former self forever. Her sisters played with the children on the other side of the room, showing them new toys and books.

I wonder if Nicholas bought those as well.

“Sit. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Cordelia dug in her bag and pulled out a small box. “I shouldn’t start there, in so gloomy a fashion. In truth, I came to see you but also to give you this.” She smiled and passed the box to her mother.

Staring down at it, her mother took the box in hand gently and then flipped it open and gasped.

“Cordelia! How on earth? How did you find it?”

“The man you’re so keen on calling my dear husband found it,” she said, smiling wide at her mother’s delight. “He bought it back and left it for me on my nightstand so that I might find it upon waking.”

“Oh, this is wonderful!” Fiona got to her feet and rushed over to crush Cordelia in a hug. “I cannot thank you, cannot thank him enough for this!” Her mother’s wide eyes continued to stare at the watch as if it wasn’t real, and tears brimmed. “A piece of your father can remain with us now.” She closed the box and sat down, folding her hands on her lap. “I don’t think I have been this happy in a long, long time. You must thank him for me.”

“I will.”

And he will likely reject such a thank you.

“But you know, your father always insisted that his watch go to the first grandchild of the family, and that child is already here. In fact, there are two.” They both turned to look at the twins, watching their delighted faces as they played on the ground with their new toys.

“Look Cordelia, at the new family you are building.” She was beaming at Cordelia, and Cordelia’s heart tightened. She wanted to remain strong, but the happiness she was learning to see in her new life was getting to her, and she wasn’t sure if she could trust it.

“But it is not a real family,” she said, tears thickening her throat. A tear slipped down her cheek, and she wiped it away. “It can never be while he keeps away from us, while he keeps his heart from us. It is an arrangement as we always planned.”

She looked down at her hands, feeling the tears coming faster now. Those words felt like a curse upon her. She kept repeating them even though the more she did, the less they rang true.

“Why do you think he only cares about his club, my dear?”

Cordelia sniffed. “He spends so much time there, and he is eager to go at a moment’s notice to handle his business. Any time I try to thank him or speak of more serious matters, he shuts himself off and hurries away.” She tried not to think of their night in the carriage or how he’d dismissed it as nothing.

He didn’t say that, her conscience reminded her. And yet she felt hurt and rejected just the same.

“Your sisters told me of this, that he is so often at his club. But that was a little while ago. What has it been like now?”

Cordelia took a deep breath, unable to look at her mother just yet as she thought. “Well,” she began. “He has been more at home of late, and only going to the club at night or shorter amounts of time, I suppose.”

“And he is attentive to the children and your care?”

Cordelia was reminded of how he continued to insist on her eating well and how he continued to check on the children in the morning before they woke to see if all was well. He’d even begun to hold them a little less hesitantly, his eyes betraying his care. But then he’d shut down again and busy himself elsewhere.

Cordelia nodded and wiped another tear away. She felt her mother press a handkerchief into her hand.

“Remember how I said that love wears different clothing and speaks different languages, depending on the person.”

Cordelia nodded again, dabbing at her face, meeting her mother’s eyes. “Love has nothing to do with it, Mama,” she said, her tears coming again. As soon as she said it, she realized it wasn’t true.

“Does it not?” Fiona asked kindly, turning her head to the side and smiling. “And while love takes many forms, so does the reaction to one’s love. I mean that neither you nor Nicholas I presume have ever been in love. It is a heady experience and very unusual for one’s first time.” She shook her head and chuckled. “I remember it well. It can be terribly frightening, and from what I’ve gathered, it does not seem as though Nicholas had a happy home life. His father was a frightful man and drank to excess. I expect Nicholas does not understand love and perhaps he shies away at the prospect of it.”

Cordelia’s heart beat fast. “You are thinking he loves me?” she asked incredulously.

“I think that he does not know yet what he feels, and I think you too are struggling to understand, and it frightens and confuses you both. But if it doesn’t matter and love has nothing to do with it, then why are you crying, my dear?”