Page 116 of 13 Rules For Fantastic Phone Sex

“Okay.” She puts down her spoon and gives me her full attention. It’s so much harder to speak with the full weight of her attention on me. I hesitate. “I’m listening.”

I take a second and a breath, wanting to get words to come out smooth despite my reservations. “I am capable of love. I didn’t believe you.” Eye contact is hard. “I’ve said the words to you and meant them, but something has happened in the last few weeks, something… transformative. I know I’m worthy, but that’s different from looking at you and knowing I’m wildly, madly in love with you. I love you like⁠—”

Shoot. Poetry is not my thing. I look at the painting and back at her.

“I love you like paint loves canvas,” I say, leaning in to kiss her cheek. I tell her every single day I love her. “I’m convinced now, and it’s an entirely different thing.”

“I know, Henry. I’ve always known, from our first conversation.” I must look so confused because she clarifies. “You don’t think of it as love, but the first time we ever spoke, you were an absolute wreck of an insomniac, paying three ninety-nine a minute, and you stopped talking to me long enough to send your sister cookies. You were exhausted, struggling, and yet you stopped and took care of Saoirse. You’re an absolute gushing fountain of love for the people you care about.”

“I have more to offer than I realize.” I want to pull the sun out of the sky so I can offer it to her as sunshine on a dreary day.

“You always have, Henry.” She looks a little blissed-out, holding her tea in both hands, eyes closed and smiling as she snuggles into me. She’s not dismissing me; she’s just… content and, as always, my biggest supporter.

“No, Kait, I mean it,” I protest as I stroke her hair. “It’s been a month, and I’m still giddy. I don’t want to live without you. I miss you when I’m not with you. I drop you off and drive home and walk back here, and it’s only a few minutes, but I miss you while we’re apart. I dream about you. When I see something funny, I want to share it with you. I see you, and I’m filled with impure thoughts and silly ones too.”

“Henry, I know.”

We’re making absolute fools of ourselves in the coffee shop. People are watching as we press our foreheads together and sneak a quick kiss. I don’t need an audience this time, nor do I need Duncan to say it for me. I say it, with conviction and no stammering and no question in my tone, “I adore you, Kait. Absolutely adore you.”

She gives me a peck on the cheek. “I adore you.” She pulls back, locks eyes with me, and says, “And I am madly in love with you.”

Duncan, the baristas, and the nosy patrons don’t even pretend they aren’t listening. They make a collective “awwww,” and I’d be embarrassed if I weren’t so happy.

“I love you, Henry.” She looks at me when she says it, and I’m overflowing with delight, elated at her words. I enjoy our mutual admiration society of two. “We should celebrate.”

“I may have made plans for a cozy cabin in Michigan for the long weekend.”

“I was thinking something more immediate, my place,” she says with a little lip lick that only I see. “Right away.”

“Oh, certainly. Of course,” I stammer, and she laughs.

Me: I’m a little cough cough under the weather and will be in late.

Julian: You really should see a doctor, you may need an x-ray with all the cough coughing you’ve been doing of late.

I sneak peeks at Kait, who has gone silent.

When we step outside, away from the bat ears of everyone in the place, she asks, “You’re quiet. What are you thinking?”

“This is what it feels like to be a Lucky Man,” I say as we make the short walk to the elevator. The door is barely closed before we’re on each other, making out and stripping and leaving a trail of clothes that starts at the front door.

“I love you, Kait.”

“I love you so much, Henry.”

“I love you more,” I say with all of my chest, fortified with the courage of my convictions.

“You are completely and utterly fucking ridiculous,” she replies, kicking off her shoes. “I love you more than you can possibly understand.”

“You’re ridiculous,” I say, stripping out of my jeans and T-shirt like they’ve caught fire. “Clearly, I love you the most.”

“But I love you with the power of a thousand blue giant suns.” I think that’s a lot, but I’ll look it up later.

She leans in like she’s going to kiss me and at the last minute nibbles my nipple through my cotton T-shirt.

“Oh, no you don’t. You can’t start there. You have to warm me up first,” I say, despite the cone of candor. It’s okay, she knows I’m lying—she’s got a handful of evidence.

The I-love-you one-upmanship goes on this way until there are no clothes left to shed. I’m about to pick Kait up and manhandle her into bed when she shoves me into her chair and proceeds to give me the most enthusiastic blowjob I’ve ever had.