Page 73 of Home of the Brave

I didn’t want to ref. I didn’t have the knowledge to coach, and there were already incredible women filling those roles.

I also didn’t want to go back to school, so that crossed off many of the team positions, like trainer or analytics. Maybe I could go into scouting or managing equipment.

But did I want that?

More importantly, what did it mean that one simple question could put so much doubt in my head?

I should be able to brush it off and go back to focusing on why I want to be a journalist, but the only answer to that question was to stay close to hockey.

Did I actually enjoy the other aspects?

Traveling, being assigned work with no say, not even getting to do research and deep dive anymore. Was any of this bringing more visibility to women’s hockey?

Was there any way of knowing?

Their games were being covered by a main network channel. They were getting attention and would be viewed by millions. They were gold medal Olympians.

They were doing it all on their own.

They didn’t need me.

I let out a small gasp as the realization set in; luckily, it was timed with a huge hit on the far side of the glass so Cambrie didn’t notice.

The group around us shifted a bit closer, and I glanced over to see Joe and Miles had joined.

Nice of him to finally start watching. Probably just in time to catch a few plays he could focus on during his post-game interviews.

Miles caught my eye and gave me a small wave. I returned it, and he offered a sad smile before lifting his camera and focusing on the action.

Soon, the game ended with East winning, and he and Joe hurried down the tunnel to find the women. I wanted to go with them, not for the chance to be the first to talk to Crystal about her winning goal, but because I wanted to hug and cheer with them before going to the West’s locker room and giving them all hugs and telling them they killed it.

I wanted to be a part of a team again.

That was it.

I missed the camaraderie, the sisterhood, the unwavering support.

As much as I missed playing, I missed what it meant more.

Wow, back-to-back revelations were far too much for one day.

"Let's go stop the guys and get some footage of them all dressed up,” Cambrie suggested, leading a path through the crowd and down the halls to the opposite side of the arena to the press room.

The women weren’t there yet, but a few of the guys were waiting around. I felt eyes on me, but ignored them.

The big topic of the day was the athletes, not me and Josh.

“Hey!” Erik burst into the room, clapping. “Let’s hear it for East!”

I cheered with everyone, despite none of the winners being around.

“Let’s hear it for the lovebirds!” Mario called out next as Josh and Wyatt walked in.

I knew I was blushing, but fought to keep from reacting.

“Aw, you noticed,” Hartman beamed and pressed a loud kiss to the side of Josh’s head. “We’ve been trying to keep it quiet.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what he meant,” Tyson chided, giving a hard look to his teammate, who rolled his eyes before turning away from us.