Page 85 of Trick Play

“Dude! That’s amazing.” Benjamin reached over and clapped his shoulder.

“Really great options.” Hunter held out his fist, and Ethan bumped it.

“Thanks,” Ethan said to them before turning back to me. “What do you think?”

A million things. “Nashville’s pretty.”

He burst out laughing, and the rest of the table joined in. “Come on, really.”

I shook my head. “Pittsburgh would be incredible. I would really, really, really like that to happen, but you guys already said nothing’s concrete. Things could change.”

He nodded. “I could end up in Scranton for a few years.”

Right. Farm teams. It would make sense for him, any of them, to spend a year or two training with them before moving up to the NHL.

“That’s a lot closer than Calgary.”

“That’s true.”

“So you would be okay with me here?”

I didn’t need to look over to know everyone was watching and listening.

“I would.”

His smile grew, making the corner of his eyes crinkle.

Our pizzas were delivered then, breaking the spell I was under.

What did this all mean? Would I be okay with him in Pittsburgh? Of course. It was a big enough city we could share. It didn’t mean anything. It didn’t mean anything for us.

Right?

Ethan put a slice of pepperoni on a plate and sat it in front of me before taking a slice of meat lovers for himself. They started eating and talking about plans for the holidays while I picked at my food.

This uncertainty. The not knowing what was coming.

I went through this once already while we were waiting to hear back from colleges. It felt different now though. I knew where I was going to be. I wasn’t changing my plans for him. Not this time.

What if he ended up in Canada or on the other side of the country? Would he want to stay in contact? What did that look like? A few calls and texts throughout the week? Maybe one video call when he had a free second between training sessions?

What did I want? That wasn’t something I stopped to think about often enough. What did I want my future to look like? A long-distance relationship? Dating a professional athlete? Opposite schedules and endless traveling?

Were we pushing this too far? Hanging on to the opportunity we had to reconnect and dragging it out?

Maybe we were only meant to forgive and let the past go. Nothing more.

“Hey?” he whispered, and I slowly pulled my eyes up to meet his.

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

In the cold? Not really, but I had to talk to him.

“Yeah.”

“We’ll be right back,” he said as he stood then pulled out my chair and helped me back into my coat.

We made it two steps outside before he pulled me to the side, out of view of the restaurant’s windows. “What’s going on?”