Page 75 of Trick Play

Haley asked for forgiveness, which I immediately gave her. Then she quietly accepted what I asked for. I know it was hard for her, but she understood better than most. She saw her own counselor and it helped her work through her own demons.

Once that step was done, it was time to kick it into gear. Having my friends know that I wasn’t avoiding them or keeping secrets or hiding turned out to be a bigger relief than I expected. Feeling their support rather than their suspicions was exactly made all the difference. I no longer felt shame about how much time I spent studying or with my tutor. Instead, it was a source of pride.

I was doing the work. I was pushing myself. I was refusing to give up.

It was annoying how easily studying and classwork clicked after that. It wasn’t magic, but it sure felt like it. Somehow Jared gave my brain permission, or I gave myself permission, to ignore the rest of the world. The rest of my drama, so my only focus was my school work. My mind didn’t race while I was trying to work. My heart didn’t pound. I didn’t get frustrated with each sentence I had to read over and over until I understood.

My problems weren’t gone. I wasn’t suddenly a stellar student. I didn’t miraculously learn to train my brain to read correctly, but I gave myself permission to be patient

It felt counterintuitive since one of my goals was being selfless, but he taught me I couldn’t lift others if I was trapped in my own hole. I needed to learn to lift myself first.

Three weeks of nothing but studying, practicing, going to classes, playing in games, and meeting with Dr. Jared passed in a blink. Thanksgiving had been uneventful. The dread I had built up over going home disappeared when he told me I couldn’t fix my parents. It wasn’t my responsibility. All I could do was show them my love.

Haley had her own conversation with them, but I stayed out of it, giving myself permission to not get involved. Healthy boundaries were what it was called.

Progress was faster than I expected, but a part of me had a hard time accepting it as reality. My self-doubt and criticisms were so ingrained, but each day was better than the last.

I was scared to ruin that trend. I was scared to step back into my life. Would that undo everything I’d worked so hard on? Would I slip back into the person I’d been?

It was terrifying, but it was time.

Chapter 25

Kennedy

My gown hung on the back of my door. It was almost time. I was almost done.

“Did your last score come in yet?” I called out.

Lo was waiting on one class to upload her final grade and she was losing her mind. There was no risk of her failing, she had a solid A in the class so even if she failed her final it would end up being a B at worst. She didn’t care though. She was convinced she wouldn’t be walking tomorrow if the grade wasn’t finalized.

“No!” she screamed back.

I was still waiting on two classes, but I wasn’t too concerned. Everything would work out. We’d come too far for things to fall to pieces the day before.

I refreshed the page and did a little dance when the grade for History of Photography appeared. A.

We did it.

I clicked in and saw the professor left a note. I opened it and sucked in a breath. Ethan titled our project ‘Two Minds, One Heart’.

It was the first time I could see it since the assignment automatically locked when he submitted it. I scrolled through the pictures. It started off with random pictures he took of the Sixteenth Street Bridge. Beautiful, but no real direction. There was no story I could decipher, then I saw his last shot. The end of the bridge, looking toward downtown. A destination, even though the journey was messy.

The next images were the ones he took walking toward me. They were perfect. Just what I imagined, but he focused on me more than I would have liked. I was meant to be an unidentifiable figure. Anonymous, general. But that’s not the way he saw me.

Each image got closer and closer until it was me standing in front of him with a small smile, my future city behind me.

I swallowed before continuing. The lock would be next.

The symbol of love standing out. The background was a blur. You couldn’t see enough detail to know where we were. What was happening at the moment? What came next?

That was the end.

It was beautiful. I loved the way he ordered them, but the title stung. In a bittersweet way.

When he submitted this, did he think we were one heart? One soul?

I used to think that, way before. Now I knew better. We were two very different people. Entirely separate. On opposite paths.