Page 20 of Trick Play

“I know that, Kennedy.”

The sound of my name coming from him sounded wrong. It was missing the softness from back then. He used to say it like a prayer. Full of desire and hope. Love.

“Then think of something else. I’m not wasting my time with something so obvious and impersonal. I actually want to pass this class.”

The wounded look in his eye didn’t go away before he ducked his head, spinning a pen between his fingers. When a whole minute passed without him saying anything, I went through the list I had.

“I think anything involving the school or campus is too predictable. Yes, this place is important in our lives right now, but I’m not exactly passionate about being a Bobcat.”

He didn’t utter a word.

“The beach is another obvious choice. It’s somewhere we both love, but I don’t have time to drive to the coast.”

Another nod.

I glanced down at my list, attempting to distract myself from the hurt I caused him. I didn’t mean to belittle him or be so harsh, but after I noticed he wasn’t paying attention or taking notes even after I helped him catch up, my patience wore out. If he wasn’t going to even try, I wasn’t going to drag him along.

“If this doesn’t matter to you, I’ll go speak to Clements. There has to be a way for us to switch since it’s still early.”

His head snapped up. “No, Kenny. Please don’t.”

Kenny. He was the only one that ever called me that. I hadn’t heard that nickname in three years, and it was like a punch to my heart. I sucked in a breath while he continued.

“I’ll do my part. I’ll help in every step. I promise, I won’t let you down.”

I narrowed my eyes. He was great at making promises, just not at keeping them.

“I swear. I can’t afford to mess this up.”

There was a vulnerability in his voice that made me want to believe him.

“You’ve let me down before.”

He scowled. “I know. I know I have, but not this time.”

I searched his face for any hint of deception. He was used to getting what he wanted. It had always been that way. Even with me. The day he set his sights on me was the day he asked me out, and I was powerless to say no. It’s his energy, personality, and that smile. They sucked you in and made you feel like the most beautiful, important thing in the world.

It wouldn't work on me this time.

“If I don’t pass this class, I can’t graduate on time,” I admit so he knows what’s at risk here.

“If I don’t pass this class, I’m kicked off the team.”

I couldn’t mask my surprise. His team was his entire life, his whole world. How could he have gotten into this position?

“What?”

He dropped his head into his hands, leaning closer. My body screamed for me to reach out and comfort him, but that wasn’t my place. Not anymore.

“It’s bad, Kenny. I’ve tried so hard. You have no idea, but I’m just not smart. I’m not like you and everyone else. I kept up through generals and the lower-level classes, but it’s gotten harder and harder each semester. No matter what I do, I fall behind.”

He raised his head, enough to meet my eyes. A flash of the boy he used to be slammed into my mind. How much he struggled in high school, even with the time extensions and quiet places for taking tests. It was his biggest insecurity, but I’d refused to let him give up. We spent hours every week working together until he finished his homework and felt confident with the material. His ADHD and dyslexia weren’t well known, but all of his teachers understood. By senior year, his medication was finally at the right levels and he was able to focus on his own, but it was never easy for him.

Being a student-athlete was his saving grace. Our high school loved their sports and put the players on pedestals. Even though he never directly told me, I knew teachers excused him from assignments. They did it for any of the athletes. Late game? No problem, they’d give you an A on the homework. Win a game on Friday night? That’s an A on the next quiz.

It was annoying, but I knew Ethan needed the help, so I never complained, but it was unfair for the rest of us.

I never thought about how he was handling his courses here. He wasn’t mine to worry about anymore, but I could see how much of a toll it had taken on him. All he’d ever wanted was to make it to the professional level, and that dream was close to being ripped away.