Page 76 of Finding My Forever

Ah. There it was again.

Gwen and Harley have been on another level the past week, and I was reaching my breaking point quickly. Katie had changed the routine, yet again. My part had only been choreographed last night after practice when she and I stayed behind. Yes, I was lagging on the group part because I was still trying to learn it!

Gwen didn’t have a prominent role in this one. She certainly didn’t have four eight counts with only her and Katie tumbling. Gwen stood in the back with a sign that said “GO” while Katie and I were up front.

Oh no. Gwen was the equivalent of a chorus girl in this routine and she hated it. It wasn’t my fault Katie put me in the front. I didn’t want to do it, but Gwen couldn’t do some of the moves I could. Just another thing she hated about me. I tried half as hard as her and got twice the results. Part of it came from working with Katie in the summers and on weekends, but the majority of it was just natural ability. That was why Katie couldn’t understand why I wasn’t passionate about cheer.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t force myself to care as much as she did. Sure it was fun. I enjoyed going to the games and cheering for our teams, and the competitions were always exciting, but I didn’t fulfill me the way reading and writing did.

I wiped my brow and turned to face them. “Sorry to inconvenience you, Gwen. I know you have you have an appointment to get your sideburns waxed at five. We’ll be done before then.”

She glared at me and a few of the braver girls giggled.

Katie bit her lip and shot me a look. I knew she would tell me later to play nice but I just shrugged.

“Let’s run through it a few more times to get more comfortable with it, then we can head home.”

We spent the next twenty minutes going through the same forty seconds of the routine before she released us. Gwen and Harley took off without another word to me, which was a good idea. I was tired and not in the mood to spar with them.

Katie and I grabbed our bags and went out of the doors toward the student parking lot.

“Do you have to work tonight?”

I dug out my keys before answering. I hadn’t told her about my new critique group, and I was a little worried about what she’d think.

“No, I’m have a group meeting tonight.”

She scrunched up her nose. “Like AA?”

I laughed. “Not quite. It’s a writing group. You bring in what you’re working on and the people there will read over it and give feedback.”

“Huh.” She seemed to be thinking. “That sounds interesting. I hope they can help you improve.”

I was shocked at her immediate acceptance. I thought for sure she would say it was unnecessary or stupid.

“What? I’m not going to bash on your interests just because I don’t share them. I go to cheer clinics all the time to improve my skills and technique. Of course, you should do the same for your writing.”

“Thanks, Katie.”

She nodded and waved, leaving me at my car.

Her support shouldn’t have surprised me. She was a great friend, and it wasn’t her fault I didn’t share her level of passion for our sport.

I’d been taking out my frustration of my Liam situation on her and cheer when it wasn’t deserved. I needed to apologize, again. I needed to do better.

Chapter 22

I couldn’t believe I was really doing this. I didn’t belong with these people. I was just a high school kid. What help could I offer them?

It felt a little strange going out in public with slightly damp hair and very little makeup, but as I walked through the doors of the library, I felt like I was accepting a side of myself I kept hidden.

Aside from applying to NYU last weekend, something I hadn’t told anyone about, this was the most daring thing I’d done.

Sure I’d done backflips off the top of a pyramid or cheered in front of millions on television, but opening up my secret side was a vulnerability I’d never known.

I was putting myself in line for rejection.

I followed the small paper signs directing me to the writing critique meeting in a conference room.