Page 86 of Finding My Charming

I spent the majority of work making lists. Lots and lots of lists in an attempt to organize my thoughts. Sherrie only asked me a few questions about what I was doing before she gave up and left me alone with my confused brain. She even took over the majority of my tasks since she knew I wasn’t mentally there.

She could tell something had happened to me when she walked in first thing this morning, and I’d taken about an hour to fill her in. I don’t think I’d ever heard a grown woman squeal the way she did when I told her I’d kissed Dallin. I knew she had been rooting for him from the beginning and manipulating us into running into each other more than what was necessary.

I’d confronted her about her omission about Dallin, but she brushed it off, saying she hadn’t wanted that to influence my choice. She’d been worried I’d think that was the easier road.

Since I’d made her so happy with my news, I knew he’d have no problem with picking up my slack, plus it was payback. If anyone knew how much was on my plate right now, it was Sherrie. She was even more up-to-date than Ari! I guess that was what happened when two people spent a solid eight hours a day together for weeks.

Right now wasn’t a time for contemplation.

Problem number one was the boy situation. I had exactly one week left until the next full moon. I had to choose and pray I didn’t make a mistake. Last night certainly had changed things for me.

Talking with Dallin had always been easy. Time with him flew by. I knew in my mind and heart that I had feelings for him, and I was pretty sure he felt that same. Unless he’d just gotten caught up in the moment last night. Or was just saying things he thought I wanted to hear.

Both options were stressing me out! I knew him. We’d spent a lot of time together since I started working here, I didn’t have time to analyze the mile-long list of things I didn’t know. I had to trust myself and go with my gut.

I stared down at the paper in front of me and frowned. So many pros for him, yet there were plenty for Vincent. Although, Vincent had a decent list of negatives as well. For some reason, every potential con I could think of with Dallin was something I could either accept or work on together.

As scary and surreal as it was, I could picture a future with Dallin. I could see us lasting and being happy. With Vincent, I couldn’t see far past summer and could only imagine the numerous soccer games I would be forced to attend. Something I should not hold against him, but it was on my list.

Each of us deserves to be with someone who not only loves us but can take a genuine interest in what we care most about.

Someone with Vincent’s abilities should be with a girl who appreciates and celebrates that part of him.

When I thought about it like that, I was doing him a favor. Right?

It wasn’t like he would be heartbroken if I told him I wasn’t interested in seeing him anymore. We’d only been out a few times, and the last time I’d barely spoken. He’d rambled on and on about soccer so much that I couldn’t have gotten much in even if I wanted to.

No, he needs to be with someone who puts sports first like he does.

Their relationship would thrive while one with me would lead to boredom and resentment.

Things were different with Dallin. He was invested in me and my feelings, and I felt the same way with the things going on in his life. I wanted to support him while he pursued his dreams, and he’d proven last night that he would push me to be the best I could. He wasn’t going to let me quit or give up on anything. I needed someone to believe in me the way he did.

I sighed and tossed my pen down on the counter. “That’s it, Sherrie.”

She immediately stopped typing and turned to face me. “What is?”

Her expression was hopeful and a little too excited for not knowing what was going on. Obviously, she’d been peeking at my paper.

“I’ve decided.”

“On…?”

I rolled my eyes. “Like you haven’t been reading every single thing I wrote down.”

“Okay, fine. So, when are you going to tell Vincent?”

Sherrie was like a child waiting for ice cream. She was trying hard to pretend to be patient, but I knew she was dying inside.

“I’m going to call him after work and tell him that even though I’ve enjoyed getting to know him, I don’t think it would be a good idea to continue…”

That was where I stopped knowing what to say. It wasn’t as if we were really dating. Hanging out sounded lame, but seeing each other sounded worse. I didn’t want to end on a bad note, but I needed to be clear and concise.

“Continue to spend time together?”

“I guess that will work. I’m sure at that point he’ll know where the conversation is going.”

She nodded solemnly. “I suppose he will.”