Page 63 of Face Off

“Okay, boss!” Mikey winked at me before turning and running toward the entrance. Halfway there, he put his feet up to ride on the back of the cart, and I could hear Sadie’s laughter from here.

How was this man the same one that I’d been told was the biggest player on the team? Selfish, noncommittal, immature. Those were words articles had used to describe him, but I didn’t see a single trace of that when I saw him.

He was caring. Dedicated. Selfless. Thoughtful.

He was everything I’d dreamed of. The man I wished my ex had been. The type of person I always wanted to be with.

“Where to first?” he asked, and I was about to point to the produce when Sadie answered, and I realized the question wasn’t intended for me.

My very sassy, very bossy three-year-old directed him around the entire store, making sure we went through every single aisle. She pointed out the things we normally got, things she liked, and the things she wished we had more often.

And Mikey put all of it in the cart.

I followed behind them, laughing at their antics and far more relaxed than I anticipated I’d be through this. I thought it would be strained and awkward. Me picking out the bare minimum of what we would need to get through the next week or so.

It wasn’t until we got to the check-out and Mikey knelt next to Sadie so she could pick out a candy for being such a good helper that I realized he’d done it on purpose. By putting her in charge, it took all the pressure off me. We got everything we needed, and far more, and since Sadie had been picking things out, I was off the hook. I didn’t feel nearly as guilty as I would have.

That blessed man.

I shouldn’t have been surprised by this point.

As he loaded the bags into the trunk and I buckled in Sadie, I had to remind myself that this wasn’t a fairy tale, no matter how much it felt like it.

“Thank you,” I called to him.

He grinned. “I had a lot of fun.”

“I could tell.” I folded my arms over my chest. “I really, really appreciate it.”

“I know you do. Thank you for letting me do this for you guys.” He shot me another smile before walking the oversized cart back into the store.

I got in the car and turned around. Sadie had her head resting against the side of her seat, and I knew she was fading fast. By the time we got back to our apartment, she would be out. I tried to prevent Mikey from bringing the bags up to our little home, but he insisted, since I had to carry a sleeping Sadie up.

The rising shame was nearly suffocating as I slid the key into the locks and opened the door. The inside was small, old, and mismatched, but it was clean. That was pretty much the only thing I could control.

He didn’t say anything, just moved into the kitchen without waiting for instruction. Not that I needed to tell him where to go. The living room and kitchen were the only things you saw when you entered.

I walked down the hall and lowered Sadie to her bed, covered her, and waited a few seconds to make sure she didn’t wake. I also needed a moment to prepare myself to go back out and face the judgment. This wasn’t forever. It wouldn’t always be like this.

Mikey must have gone back out to his car after bringing the groceries in, because Sadie’s car seat was now resting next to the front door.

“Do you want me to take it out to your car?” he asked.

“No, that’s okay. You’ve done more than enough already.”

He moved to the kitchen and began taking things out of the bags and setting them back on the counter. I worked next to him, organizing the food to place in the fridge, freezer, and small pantry. Once we were done, he leaned back and watched me.

I stood across from him, feeling more exposed than ever before.

“Why are you here?” He slowly looked around the small living room and dated kitchen.

There were a million possible answers to that. Sarcastic, philosophical, literal. I didn’t know what he meant. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

“You deserve so much better, Holly. You and Sadie belong somewhere safe.”

“It’s safe,” I argued. I didn’t mean to be so defensive, but I was doing the very best with what little means I had.

“It’s behind a liquor store.”