Page 45 of Game Misconduct

Yes, there was that possibility, but more likely was the reality that my feelings would be one-sided. That whatever Kerry thought she saw from him was her bias as my best friend tainting things. She wanted Parker to like me, so she saw it. There’s some psychology behind that, I was sure.

“This is a good thing,” I said. “There’s more to life than love and romance. Maybe what we both need is someone to rely on. Someone he feels comfortable opening up to and being himself around and someone that I can trust to like me for me.”

She pursed her lips. “Everyone likes you for you, Viv.”

I shrugged. “Maybe now, but it hasn’t always been like that. I’m used to people wanting to be friends with me to get to someone else, especially men. This is the first relationship I’ve ever had with a man, even if it is platonic, without having to worry about figuring out what he’s really after. I didn’t realize how badly I wanted that until now.” I blew out a breath. “I don’t want to give that up.”

“I get that, but it’s my duty as your best friend to make sure you’re not getting in your own way. I don’t want you to miss out on something amazing because you’re afraid.”

“I’m not afraid,” I argued.

She gave me a stern look. “You are. You’re afraid of putting yourself out there and risking rejection. You’re afraid of being happy. Of wanting more than what you have now. I get it though. I can’t make you ready when you’re not, so for now, I’ll let it slide. But if I need to, I won’t hesitate to kick your butt for your own sake.”

I chuckled. “I know you will.” But she wouldn’t have to because I knew I was right.

“Good.” She blew me a kiss and stood up. On her way to her side of the office, I heard her singing, “Sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.”

It was a good thing my boss wasn’t around because I could not bring myself to focus. Kerry’s words repeated in my mind like a bad pop song. She really thought she saw something from Parker? It wasn’t much of a guess for her to pick up on my attraction. She knew me well enough to see that I had developed more complicated and confusing feelings toward him. I didn’t even know how to hide that from her.

But no, she said Parker’s eyes sparkled when he looked at me, and he had a special smile when I spoke?

Ugh. Things like that went straight to my head. What did it mean?

I pretended to be updating a budget spreadsheet while really mulling over that question. Was there a chance he felt more than friendship for me? Could he really be attracted to me?

Then again, this was all new for him. Maybe he was fascinated by me. Maybe that was how he looked at all his real friends.

Kerry was the worst. I never should have let her sit down. I could have taken the coffee and told her I was too busy to talk. I saw the look on her face. I should have known better.

Stupid me for thinking she wanted to discuss AJ. Oh no. She barely even mentioned him. That would have been concerning, but it proved to me that her feelings for him were real and rooted and not something she needed to analyze with me. She knew how she felt, and he probably did too.

Lucky jerks. Must be nice to have it so easy. It was clear to them from the beginning. That was one of the benefits of meeting on an app. You already knew that both parties were interested in a relationship and that they found the other person attractive. No second-guessing there.

Meanwhile, I was in the grayest of gray, murky water. Nothing was clear. I wasn’t even sure where I was going. The safest thing to do was simply paddle still and wait for rescue.

Did that mean Parker? Waiting on him?

What if that took years? Decades? I sincerely doubted he would ever make the first move. He probably didn’t even know it was something that he had to do.

It would come down to me. I would have to be the one to say something. To even bring up the topic of there being something growing between us.

I really, really didn’t want to have to do that.

The burden of laying myself bare and risking rejection felt impossible. Too overwhelming to even consider.

Kerry was right. I was afraid. Terrified. Petrified. Frozen in fear.

I sucked in a deep breath. Nothing had to be decided right away. Things were new. Our friendship was working. A budding friendship was good. I was happy with how things were going, so there was no urgent need to tell him.

I wasn’t even sure my feelings were real. It could just be the novelty of having a new guy in my life. I’d wait to see if they disappeared before saying anything. This could all be a fleeting crush. I slumped a bit. Yeah, it wasn’t anything to stress about.

In fact, I could test it. I could find a new man to go out with. A real date to see if I was interested in someone else, anyone else. Maybe Mitch had a friend he could set me up with. A trial run. Since Parker and I were just friends, there wasn’t anything wrong with going on a date with another guy.

The more I thought about it, the better it sounded. Plus, when I told Parker about the date, I could watch for a reaction from him. That would tell me how he felt about me. Maybe.

No. This was a solid plan. Mission: Get a Date was a go.

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