Page 69 of Penalty Kill

She shook her head. “No, you might have been in the house, but you could go days without looking me in the eyes. Without even coming into the room.”

I fell back against the wall. “It was my fault. Everything was my fault. I couldn’t look at you. I couldn’t see what I’d done without breaking down.”

She took a step closer to me, straightening as she shoved her finger into my chest. “You had nothing to do with it. You weren’t driving the car. You weren’t there.”

“But none of it would have happened if you hadn’t come into my life.”

She let out a huff and stepped back until she was against the opposite wall. “You’re right. None of it would have happened. I wouldn’t have gotten to know the boys. I wouldn’t have fallen in love with them. I wouldn't know you. Or the Pride. My life wouldn't have changed at all.” She sniffed. “But it did. It did happen, and I wouldn't take a second of it back.”

“Then why are you leaving?” I pleaded.

“Because you left.” Her voice broke. “When I needed you the most, you left.”

I rubbed my hands over my face. “I was right there. The whole time. I was there for you. I was giving you space to come to me.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I was bed ridden. Scared. Coming to terms with how quickly my life changed. You turned into a ghost.”

We were talking in circles. Neither of us was willing to concede. If I wanted her to stay, it was time to fight.

“I’m sorry.”

Her shoulders sagged. “Me too.”

“Please, don’t go. I meant what I said. I love you, and I want you in my life. I want you in the boys’ lives.”

She flinched. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. It’s not too late for us.” I was ready to get on my knees and beg. This was the second chance I never thought I’d get. I couldn’t hold back. “I’m so sorry for letting you down. I will never stop making it up to you. It was terrifying for both of us, and I realized how much the possibility of losing you hurt. It nearly broke me. When you came home from the hospital, I didn’t know what to do or say. I was still so scared. I wasn’t there for you like I should have been, but I promise I will never let that happen again. I will always be there for you. I will love and support you forever. I will take you around the world. I will make sure you have all the adventures and experiences you could ever dream of.” I swallowed. “Just please don’t leave.”

She didn’t say anything. No refusal. I took slow steps toward her and lifted her hands into mine. “I love you, Sydney Banks. Please give me another chance.”

She looked up and it felt like she was searching my soul. She opened her mouth, and Emma came rushing toward us.

“He’s here.”

Syd pulled her hands away and followed Emma down the hall.

22

Sydney

Chloe had improved considerably by the time visiting hours were over. They didn’t have a name for Baby Boy yet, but he was doing better than we could have hoped.

His lungs were more developed than the doctors expected, but he was still taken directly to the NICU and hooked up to what seemed like a hundred tubes. He was the tiniest thing I’d ever seen. He weighed three pounds, six ounces.

We were only able to look in on his incubator before having to leave. Reese stayed with him while Erik and Madi stayed with Chloe.

I loved the way everyone pulled together for them. Seeing more and more of the team arrive with their wives nearly brought me to tears. This was their family. They were so lucky to have such an amazing group to love and support them.

As I walked back to my car, I froze in the middle of the main lobby. My heart ached at the thought of losing this. For a moment, I was a part of this Fury family. Was that what I wanted? Was that what I had been searching for these past ten years?

Maybe it wasn’t the adventure and memories I was chasing. Maybe it was a sense of belonging. A family that truly understood and accepted me. My parents never did. They couldn’t imagine anything bigger than their quiet life.

The Pride and the Fury? They got it. They knew how to dream big and achieve their goals. Each one of them was more driven than the next. They were risk takers, travelers, but mostly they had wide open hearts.

Milo and Finn accepted me, all of my quirks and new ideas and discipline. They allowed me into their lives, made room for me in their battered hearts. They had no reason to trust me, but they did. They could have acted out, thinking I would hurt them like their mom did. I would have understood, but those sweet boys loved me instead.

How could I leave them?