Page 54 of Penalty Kill

“I don’t know if I can.”

Emma squeezed. “You can. You’ve been searching for your place. Where you belong. A home. You have that here. You have that with Brandon and Milo and Finn. With us.”

“Emma, stop,” Kendall interrupted. “Sydney, all we can do is tell you and show you how much we care about you. We will be here for you. We will support you and take care of you for as long as you’ll have us. You’ve been through enough today. Just rest and know that you’re not alone.”

“Thank you.”

She nodded and leaned lower to whisper, “Dreams change, but it has to be your choice.”

“We’ll let you rest,” Emma said before sighing and giving me a smile. She turned then paused. “Please don’t hurt them. Those three have been through too much already,” she said without facing me.

It was cruel. She knew that would hit like a sledgehammer to my heart, but it was true. When I made the decision to take the job, I opened myself to the risk of caring about them. All of them. I just never thought I would care this much.

17

Brandon

Taking the boys home last night without Sydney was harder than I expected. They wanted to see her, and when I told them she needed to rest, they cried. Not a tantrum, mad they're not getting their way kind of cry but true sadness. It broke my heart. They really loved her, and I might have pushed her away.

I didn’t want them to see her until she had a chance to let it sink in. She’d changed the moment the doctor explained her injuries.

I knew she was a free spirit. She told me her dreams of seeing the world. Her goal was to leave the country next year with an unknown return date. I tried to cage her. At the moment, all I wanted was to make sure she knew how much we cared about her. How important she was to us, but she was in her head. I could tell. She was pulling away already.

Now wasn’t the time for me to give up, though. I was in this. I was committed. She might have started out as the boys’ nanny, fulfilling a need my family had, but she was so much more than that now. Over the last month, she became one of us, part of our broken little family. Whether or not she could see it, she was putting us back together.

I promised the boys we’d go back to the hospital first thing this morning to see her. They kept asking to leave, but I told them they needed to eat first. They ate their breakfast without complaint. This was Sydney’s doing. She reestablished rules and boundaries. Taught them what was expected and helped them learn how to behave. They no longer begged or cried to get what they wanted. Through her example of love and patience, they began to act the same.

My phone rang while I was cleaning up the kitchen. I checked the screen and almost ignored it. I had Ben, my agent, reach out to Olivia last night, but he told her not to contact me until this morning.

“Keep eating, boys. You’re doing so good.”

Milo smiled at me while Finn stuck another forkful of eggs in his mouth.

I went outside where I could keep an eye on them and answered. “What is it?”

“Are they okay?” At least she was getting straight to the point.

“They’re fine. Milo has a few scrapes, but nothing serious.”

“I’m coming.”

“No, you’re not,” I bit out.

“You can’t stop me from seeing them.”

“Actually, I can. You only wanted three weeks in the summer with them, so you can wait until then.”

She huffed. “They need me.”

I let out a humorless laugh. “They don’t. They really don’t. They’re doing so much better without you around.”

“They’re still my babies, Brandon.” She sniffed for added effect.

I rolled my eyes. “You left your babies. You chose yourself and your followers over your babies. You lost the right to see them whenever you want when you decided to do that.”

“You’re being unreasonable. They were in a serious accident. I need to see them.”

“An accident that you caused!” I shouted, then told myself to calm down. I didn’t want the boys seeing me upset and thinking something was wrong.