Page 2 of Penalty Kill

Unfortunately, I needed it. I needed them to turn a blind eye to my slip-ups. I needed some leeway while I fought to keep my head above water. Olivia had been in California for eight months and before she left, I’d never been on my own with the boys. Since the moment they were born, people—family, friends, and Olivia’s entourage—were always there.

Now, I was all they had. I was responsible for feeding them. Bathing them. Getting them to preschool. Keeping them alive and trying my absolute best to create a sense of normalcy and routine. Kids were resilient, and Milo and Finn never once complained about the changes, but I felt like I was failing them.

They needed, no they deserved, two functioning, dedicated parents. What they had was a professional athlete for a father, one who never had enough time in the day. If money could solve everything, we wouldn’t have any issues, but that was so far from the truth. Money had done nothing but make it easy for Olivia to ignore her children and abandon her family.

“Remember today is the long day. I’ll be there later than normal to pick you guys up.”

Finn didn’t react to my reminder, but Milo pouted. “I don’t like long days.”

I felt bad having to keep them at their preschool for additional hours so I could be at practice and the team workout, but I didn’t have a choice.

“I know, bud.”

We passed through the kitchen and I grabbed the boys’ lunch boxes off the counter where I left them. It was something I’d only recently learned how to do. I was dropping them off at preschool for two months before their teacher finally called me and told me they needed to bring their own lunches. She was fine providing food when a child forgot, but since it was becoming a trend, she was worried.

What kind of father forgot to provide food for his kids? The kind that didn’t know. As much as I wanted to blame Olivia for everything that happened, I knew I shared the blame. I let my home life go on autopilot. Other people cleaned the house. My personal assistant ran most of my life behind the scenes. Taking care of things before I even realized I needed it done. I was so far removed, I didn’t know my boys needed lunch.

That was the wakeup call I needed. I had to do better. The boys deserved better. I couldn’t cut back at work. My team required me at my best. I might not be one of the cool, young guys, but I was a great centerman and one of the top scorers on the team. Those guys were my family too. All I had to do was relearn. Regroup. I could do better, be who everyone needed me to be, but things had to change. There were other guys on the team who managed being a player, father, and more. I knew it was possible. I just needed a chance to catch up.

“In the car, guys.” They ran out the door, ducking under my arm.

I helped Milo buckle his booster seat before checking on Finn. Once they were both ready, I got in and drove the ten minutes to their preschool. They sang along to a really horrible cover of nursery rhymes sung by other children. I hated the music, but it was their favorite. Another gift from my ex.

I could be a single parent. I just needed to figure out how. I also needed to find help. Pride wasn’t something I struggled with. I was more than willing to admit that I was out of my element and needed help. I knew plenty of people who could do this on their own. They could be everything the boys needed, but I wasn’t one of them. It wasn’t something I could ask my assistant to help out with. He was already running my errands and managing my schedule. To ask for more help would be inappropriate. Plus, he wasn’t a kid person. He avoided the boys when he was at the house. It was fine. Not everyone loves children, and I wouldn’t force him.

“Daddy, did you get our green?” Finn blurted over the music. I turned it down while trying to decipher what he meant.

“What green?” I watched them look at each other in exasperation and I almost laughed. Such mature frustration for little humans.

“We have to wear green for St. Patrick’s Day,” Milo reminded me.

Right. Of course. They came home with a flyer last week to tell parents about the class’s celebration. I managed to avoid being responsible for food or volunteering but the boys were adamant that they needed new green shirts. None of the five in their closets was sufficient.

It was two days away. I had plenty of time to find something green, between practice, team workout, tomorrow’s warm-up, and the game. Sure, I would find time to get to a store. Just as soon as I figured out a way to clone myself.

“I’m getting them today.”

“I don’t want the same as Milo,” Finn whined.

“I will get you guys different ones, don’t worry.” They were in an independent phase at the moment. They refused to wear anything remotely similar to the other. Last month, they wanted to match and even have their hair cut the same so everyone would know they were twins.

Their flip-flopping was more than I could keep up with. I didn’t try. I just waited for them to tell me each day what mood they were in.

I pulled in front of their preschool and the boys began unbuckling themselves. I got out and said, “Okay, guys, I’ll see you later. Be good for your teachers.”

They nodded as they jumped out of the car. Finn paused to hug me but Milo ran past. As much as I tried to not let it get to me, I grew more worried each day that passed without him reaching out for me.

“Bye, Dad!” they called back as they worked together to pull open the door. I waited until I could see them walk into their classroom before getting back in the car. I had twenty minutes before practice. That was exactly enough time to get to the arena and dress out. I couldn’t go shopping, but the boys would be sad if I was any later to pick them up than usual.

I blew out a breath and turned back onto the street. I only had one option.

“Hey, Brandon.” Emma’s voice filled the car.

“Hey Em. How’s it going?”

I heard quiet cries and frowned. She had enough going on. I shouldn’t have called.

“Pretty good. Jackson’s teething, but we’re surviving.”