Page 33 of Full Strength

“But why? He’s beautiful.” He was gushing.

“You don’t even know which one it is.”

He gave me a very judgy side eye. “Honey, I know who the single ones are. As long as it isn’t one of the young ones, and I know you wouldn’t go for them, then I approve.”

“Well, you wouldn’t approve of him if you knew all that he’s done.”

Ronny faced his body toward me, not breaking eye contact. “Tell me everything.”

I sighed before giving him the summary of everything that had happened. From our date at the gala and becoming friends, to the custody papers, to the failed date and him paying my rent.

He was silent for almost a full minute after I finished spilling. “So, he did something incredibly nice and owned up to it even though he knew it would probably make you mad.”

“Yeah, he just went behind my back.”

“To help you.”

I narrowed my eyes. “He had no right.”

“He had no reason to, but he still did.”

I paused. I hadn’t thought about it like that. “It’s humiliating.” The words were barely a whisper.

He pulled me in against his chest and rested his chin on the top of my head. “Oh honey. The problem isn’t that he paid your rent. That was a generous and kind thing to do. Your pride is wounded and you’re trying to protect yourself.”

I pulled back and frowned. “You don’t think it’s wrong that he paid my rent without me knowing or asking?”

He shook his head.

“You think I’m just mad because he hurt my pride?”

He nodded.

I looked down and let that sink in. Was he right? I mean, legally he didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t do anything to hurt me or Eli. He just did something I couldn’t do for myself and that hurt my feelings. It made me feel bad about myself. He could pay months’ worth of my rent without hesitation. I could barely survive until my next paycheck.

Why couldn't I just accept his gesture and say thanks?

Had I even thanked him?

I pushed my hand up between me and Ronny and covered my face. How ungrateful and rude could I be? He’d saved me. Eli and I were weeks away from eviction and Grant had taken that burden off me, and I didn’t say thanks.

“I’m a terrible person.”

Ronny rubbed my shoulders. “You’re not terrible. You’ve just been through the ringer and have a hard time trusting people. There are good people in the world, Addi, and you deserve to know some of them.”

I nodded against his chest and finally relaxed for the first time in twenty-four hours. When the front door opened, we broke apart and turned to greet the customer.

“Hi Stephanie, how are you?” Ronny treated her like an old friend. It was something so special about him. He could make anyone feel welcome and remembered. I slipped into the back room while he was distracted and allowed myself a few moments to decompress. Our conversation had turned into something I hadn’t expected. I wasn’t prepared to talk about Grant so soon, and I’d never thought Ronny would point out how wrong I’d been. He was always my cheerleader. The one I complained to so he could support me. He told me about all of his failed dates and we went off about how hard it was to find a good man.

He was supposed to tell me how wrong it was for Grant to go through my mail and pay off my debt. But he didn’t. He made me realize how I was the one in the wrong. How I’d been too quick to react. To only think about myself. I didn’t stop to think of how he was taking care of Eli. Taking care of me.

I hated admitting I was wrong, but seeing it from Grant’s perspective I realized I had been a bit too harsh. I should have told him I didn’t appreciate him going through my private things, but then again, the bill was sitting on the counter. Anyone that came into my kitchen could have seen it. Any of the girls could have seen it. Even Mrs. Jefferies. Would I have reacted the same if any of them had paid it, or offered to?

I didn’t know for sure, but I had a feeling I wouldn’t have snapped like I did with Grant.

I’d been embarrassed. That was what it came down to. I wanted to do everything on my own. I wanted to be a mother, employee, friend, and potentially a girlfriend but I couldn’t do it all. Somewhere something wasn’t getting the best of me. I refused to let that be Eli, but it wouldn’t be my job either. I didn’t want to lose the friends I’d recently made, so that left a relationship. I couldn’t do it all.

I needed help. Grant gave me that help, and I’d thrown him out.