Page 76 of Open Net

“I’m so sorry.” I wasn’t only talking to Addison. I was saying it to Emma. “I’m sorry you’re going through that alone, too.”

Addison nodded. “Thanks. The group helps a lot, but meeting Emma changed everything. We clicked and I feel like we really understand each other.”

I understood. They were both experiencing the same thing. They understood each other in a way no one else could. Not the Pride, not even her mom.

“I’m really grateful you’ve been there for her. Especially since I haven’t been.”

She reached out and touched my arm. “She knows you’re going through your own struggles. I think she just misses you.”

I nodded. “I miss her too.”

“You’re so brave.” Grant said in an almost-whisper. He was staring at Addison with pure admiration. He’d been so quiet during her confession I didn’t know if he was paying attention, but he was.

She lowered her gaze to the ground. “I’m lucky I found the group. It saved me.”

I wanted to run and find Emma, but something told me that was the wrong thing to do. I needed to give her the space she’d asked for. I needed a plan. I needed to show her how much she meant to me. I’d do anything for her, and I’d prove it.

19

Emma

Things changed the night of the gala. I left after twenty minutes. I made a quick round through the room making sure I smiled and greeted people as I passed, then I went to the back exit and waited for my ride home.

In the week since, Olli came to the house every day. Mom usually stayed with him downstairs while I pretended to be busy in my room. Things could go back to normal the moment I said so, but it was going to take more than a few good days to make it right. He needed to make sacrifices, like the ones I had. I needed to know he was my partner in this. That he wouldn’t run the next time things got hard. Problems were bound to happen again. Marriage and raising children were anything but predictable and I needed him to be committed.

I was working on my laptop when his voice drifted up. I could hear bits of him telling Mom about his therapy.

“Madi said she thinks things are healing well, but she wants me to go in for another MRI next week. Just to be sure.”

He hadn’t told me that. Neither had Madi. Was she concerned something was wrong? Why else would he be going back in?

“Are you worried?” Mom asked.

I couldn't hear his response. This was something I should know about. I should have it written in my calendar. I should be with him when he gets the results.

He also should have been there when I went to the doctor and told him I wasn’t feeling like myself.

I talked to Mom about the resentment I was holding on to and she told me if we had any chance of making our relationship work, I had to let that go. I was pretty sure I was going through the grieving process incorrectly. I was just now in the anger phase. I’d gone through denial, a bit of bargaining, and depression. But now I was angry about what happened. It was like now that Jackson and my own health was stable and with more support, I was finally able to indulge in pain and fury.

As much as I wanted to sit and wallow in this, I knew it couldn’t go on much longer. It wasn’t healthy nor was it productive.

I ran through Mom’s pep talk in my mind. “You’ve got to let go of this to move on. You have to forgive him. You won’t be happy until you do.”

She was right. Olli was my world and my best friend. I’d forgiven the girls for not seeing the depression. I forgave my mom for not being here sooner. Why couldn’t I forgive Olli?

Because it hurt the most.

I closed my laptop and stared at the closed door. Olli wasn’t going to make the first move. I’d told him I needed space and he was respecting that. If I wanted something to happen then I needed to take the initiative.

It would be easier to sit here and stew, but that wasn’t what was best for Jackson. He was my priority and not having his dad around wasn’t what he deserved. I was lucky he had a dad. Addison was forced to do this on her own. I was doing it by choice, at least until I got the all clear from Olli’s doctors.

I took a steadying breath and stood. I walked toward the door but stopped when I heard footsteps on the stairs.

I froze with my hand out toward the handle. I watched as it turned and took a step back.

“Emma?” Olli said before stepping into the room. The door opened wide enough that we could see each other, and he paused. “Oh, hi.”

“Hi.” I said feeling a bit of nerves.