Page 41 of Open Net

“What’s the matter with you, Letang?” Reese’s voice boomed through the wall.

I cringed at his tone, but maybe tough love was what Olli needed right now. All I knew was that it was out of my control. My job was to protect Jackson and for the first time since meeting him, I didn’t trust my husband.

He wasn’t himself. I couldn't predict what he would do next, and it terrified me.

Chloe and I went back upstairs to Jackson’s room. I sat in the glider while she bounced him. Within a few minutes she had him calmed down and almost asleep. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

“Babies can sense your stress,” Chloe whispered.

I watched her, gently swaying Jackson.

“It’s hard to calm down a baby when you’re not calm,” Chloe added.

I wanted to pull my hair out. How was I supposed to remain calm when he cried for hours on end? I closed my eyes and dropped my head. I should be able to handle this. I read the books. I met with the specialist. It was like everything I’d ever learned melted out of my brain weeks ago. I was on autopilot with all ability to think and reason taken away.

“I’m just so tired, Chloe.”

“I know.”

I opened my eyes and watched her lay Jackson down in his crib. He didn’t stir. It was a miracle.

Chloe waved toward the door and I followed her to my room. She pointed to the bed. “Sit.”

I followed without commenting that she was treating me like a dog.

“When it gets this bad you need to call one of us, Emma,” she said. “It’s not good for you or the baby.”

I nodded.

“I know today has been unusually challenging, but I need you to know we’re all here for you. Everyone on the team and in the Pride would drop anything and come if you asked. Don’t be stubborn and think that not asking is the best option. Not with so many people available.”

I knew she was right. If the rest of the girls were to catch wind of what happened today, they’d be annoyed I hadn’t called them earlier. But I needed to prove to myself I could do this mom gig. Just one day without help. But I couldn’t. I’d failed.

“I will,” I said.

She narrowed her eyes. “Promise me.”

I sighed. “I promise.”

She nodded once and sat next to me. “So, tell me what happened?”

I trembled at the memory. “He came home upset and I tried to talk him down, but it was like everything I said or did made it worse. He went to his office and a few minutes later I heard a bang, then another. I opened the door and he was picking up trophies and throwing them at the walls, at pictures, at jerseys. He’d lost an endorsement and he lost his mind, I guess. I tried to get him to stop but it was like he wasn’t there. At least not mentally. He had this blank expression and when he finally ran out of trophies he stopped and stared at me like he was just realizing I was there. Like he didn’t know what he was doing.”

Chloe shook her head. “There’s something wrong with him. Maybe it’s PTSD or stress or depression. I’m not sure, but he’s been different since the accident.”

I nodded.

“Madi said he’s short tempered during training. He gets frustrated if any little thing doesn’t go right.”

“That’s not Olli.”

She reached over and squeezed my hand. “I know.”

Couldn't one, just one, piece of my life be normal right now? Couldn't one thing go right?

“Do you think…” She didn’t finish her thought.

“What?”