Page 35 of Open Net

I sighed. There were so many things I wanted to say. That I needed to tell someone, but now that the time was here and I had my chance, I couldn’t find the words.

“You’re a new mom, Emma. This is your first time experiencing these things and caring for your own baby. Even with little siblings or tons of babysitting, there’s nothing to prepare you for this. It’s normal to be overwhelmed or feel like you’re clueless.”

I tried to smile but couldn’t find the will. He wasn’t getting it. I needed to tell him. I had to get this off my chest.

“It just doesn’t feel right.” I paused, trying to articulate what I meant.

“Emma, like I said, this is the first time you’re going through anything like this. It’s not uncommon to feel off or out of sorts.”

“It’s okay to feel sad?”

He sat back and nodded slowly. “Yes, many women feel baby blues for a while.” He seemed to be searching my face. This was it. He finally understood and there was a word for it. I wasn’t alone.

“Your hormones have been on a rollercoaster for almost a year. You’re bound to feel new or heightened emotions. For many, that means feeling sad or low for the first few weeks or months.”

I nodded. Baby blues. That sounded so innocent. Nothing major. “Is there anything I can I do?”

“Of course, I’d recommend walks outside. Try to get alone time, without the baby when you can. Do you have a strong support system?”

“Yes, my friends have been taking turns coming over.”

“And your husband?”

I tucked my hair behind my ear. “He got injured and so he’s recovering from surgery. He’s going through physical therapy now, so he hasn’t been able to help as much with Jackson.”

Dr. Cobalt nodded. “But you have your friends. Any family?”

“Not close. My mom is coming next week.”

“That will be good for you. I’m sure by then you’ll be feeling better.”

I let out a breath I felt like I’d been holding since the day Jackson was born. “That’s great to hear. Thank you.”

He smiled and stood, offering my son back to me. I took Jackson and put him in his car seat. He’d fallen asleep during our conversation and I prayed he would stay asleep until we got home.

“Call me if anything changes, but you’re doing a great job.”

I nearly started crying right then. I had no idea how much I’d craved someone saying that. “Thank you.”

“Have a good day, Emma.”

I walked out of the office feeling better than I had in over a month. Nothing was really fixed or changed, but I had hope things would get better. Just a little bit of baby blues. It was completely normal. I got Jackson situated then got behind the wheel. Things were going to be okay.

10

Olli

Walking into the locker room and seeing a new face is always a bit startling no matter how often it happens. Since the season just started I knew there would likely be a few trades through the league, but I hadn’t heard we had one. Guess that’s what happens when you’re on the injured list.

“Olli, hey.” Hartman clapped me on the back.

“What’s going on?” I scanned the room for the missing face but since not everyone was in the room there was no way to know.

“Jamie Olleski was traded yesterday for Nikolay Kozlov from the Kansas City Scouts.”

I eyed the new guy. His name sounded only vaguely familiar. “Is he any good?”

Hartman shrugged. “He’s only been in the NHL since last season. He was in Russia before that.”