Page 77 of Buzzer Beater

They both nodded.

Chloe put her arm around my shoulders. “I have a friend with PCOS. She has two kids now. It’s not easy, but it’s possible.”

I nodded. “I know there’s a chance, but I also have a thyroid disease that makes it harder. I’ve been to specialists and they’ve all told me if I’m able to get pregnant it will likely end in miscarriage. I accepted it years ago, but Colin keeps talking about how much he wants kids. He knew he wanted them back in college. They’re not something I can give him. How can I be with him knowing I’m keeping him from what he wants most?”

I took a deep breath, exhausted.

“How do you know that’s what he wants most?” Chloe challenged as she leaned away.

“He talked about the future he wanted when we were together, and he just said it again today.”

“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you.” Her voice softened. “You might be the thing he wants most. All of you. The ups and the downs. Whatever may come.”

That sounded all well and good. Ideally. In a perfect world.

But this was the real world.

“Chloe, I can’t take that away from him.” My voice cracked.

“You haven’t told him this?” Colby asked in barely a whisper.

I shook my head.

“You need to, Lucy.” She pleaded “Don’t go until you have. Don’t make a rash decision and run. You need to talk to him.”

This wasn’t news to me. Elena had said the same thing and I knew they were both right. Maybe I’d been building it up in my head the past few days and it felt bigger than it should. I just needed to get it over with, no matter how hard it may be.

I nodded. “I know.”

Chloe pursed her lips and was silent for a moment. “Can I call him? Have him come over? You guys really need to talk.”

There was no point in delaying it. The sooner the better, I guess. Get this over with. I barely nodded, and she made the call.

Within minutes, Colin was at the door and Chloe let him in. Colby gave my shoulder a squeeze before she and Chloe left.

“Lucy. What’s wrong? Please talk to me.” He knelt in front of me and took both my hands in his. He looked like he’d been pulling at his hair. It was sticking up in a thousand directions.

I took a deep breath and tried to steady myself. “There’s something I haven’t told you. It changes things.”

His eyebrows pulled together. “There’s nothing you could say to change how I feel about you.”

I held onto that and hoped it would remain true in a few minutes.

“You want the wedding, and the house, and the kids.”

He nodded.

I took a deep breath. “I want that too, but I can’t promise you all of it.”

“Why?”

“Because my body is ruining my life.”

He leaned forward. “Don’t say that. You’re beautiful. Perfect.”

I shook my head. “It’s how I feel sometimes. It sucks. I know there are people that have it far worse, and I should be grateful for all I can do, and I am. I’m so grateful I can walk and talk and sit here with you now, but there are things I can’t do.”

“Like eat bread?” The corner of his mouth twitched like he was trying to not laugh at his own joke.