Page 68 of Buzzer Beater

“Lucy.” She waited until I opened my eyes. “What’s holding you back?”

“I don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t see us having a future, so extending this fantasy will just make it worse. It will be harder to leave.”

I expected her to leave it, or at least understand. “You’re holding back.”

My eyes shot to hers. “What?”

She tilted forward until she was only a foot away from me. “You do realize I’m surrounded by journalists every day. I can tell when someone’s not telling the full story, so spill.”

The part of me that wanted to keep my secret had been shrinking this whole week. Maybe it was being surrounded by other women, or realizing we were becoming friends, but I actually wanted to tell her.

“I have a secret.”

She sat up straight. “I knew it. What is it? Are you married? Have a kid? Oh! Is it his kid?”

I cringed. “No, nothing that dramatic.”

She shrugged. “Probably for the best.”

I swallowed. “I have some health problems.”

“Oh no.” She grabbed my hands and nodded. “You can tell me.”

I tried to smile but failed. “It seems silly compared to your guesses.”

“I shouldn’t have said any of that. Your health is important and if you haven’t told him or us, it must be major.”

‘It’s nothing terminal, but it is chronic. I have an autoimmune disease, Hashimotos.”

She nodded. “Your thyroid right?”

“Yeah. I’m surprised you know it.”

“We have a doctor that comes on the show once a week. He’s talked about thyroid disease a few times.”

“Well, I have that, and I have PCOS.”

She squeezed my hands tight. “Oh Lucy.”

I bit my lip. This was different than telling Colin the other day. Elena was a woman, she knew what it meant.

“On their own, each condition can cause problems with infertility, but together…” I trailed off letting her fill in the blanks.

“Difficulties getting pregnant. High risk for miscarriage.” Her voice cracked. “Lucy.”

I sniffled and tried to ignore the lump in my throat. I was so grateful I didn't have to explain everything. She knew.

“From the moment I met Colin, all he wanted was a hockey career and a family. He wants his own kids.”

She looked down and nodded. “There are other options. Surrogacy, fertility treatments, adoption.”

“Yeah, but each one is expensive and emotionally draining. I don’t want to put anyone through that, especially not someone who knows he wants kids.”

“So, you don’t think you’re good enough for him?”

I leaned back. “No.”

She looked me in the eyes. “Yes, Lucy. That’s what you're saying.”