Page 53 of Buzzer Beater

A short laugh escaped. “Emma, I don’t look like them.” I pointed behind her. “You’re eight months pregnant and you look thinner than me. I can’t take off my clothes and walk around in front of everyone.”

“You’ve been in your bathing suit all week. I’ve seen you.”

“I know. And it’s been incredibly difficult for me. But I’ve been with my friends and strangers, not half of the Fury team.”

She narrowed her eyes. “This isn’t about the team or any of us. It’s about Colin.”

I looked away. Maybe it was. Maybe I didn't want him to see me this way.

“I’m not the girl he knew when we were twenty. Things have changed.”

She took both of my hands and squeezed them. “Lucy, you’re beautiful! We’ve all said it. Plus, you’ve got curves that I would give my left arm for.”

I wanted to believe her, but my demons were too loud to hear her. “I appreciate that, but it doesn’t feel that way. When Colin and I were together, I was Amber’s size. I was confident and proud. Now…” I let out a sign. “I feel like a stranger in my own body.”

“Lucy…”

“It’s okay. It’s just hard when it’s not really in your control.”

She narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”

Colin was getting out of the water, and my eyes devoured his lean, perfect frame. He spotted me and took a step toward us.

I looked back at Emma and retreated. “Never mind. It’s nothing. I’m just going to run up to the bathroom.”

I turned and took off up the stairs before she could stop me.

I was about halfway up when Colin’s voice called out. I wiped my eyes and stopped. Of course, now he pays attention to me. Now he acknowledges me.

“Lucy, where are you going?”

I faced him and stumbled a bit. He was right there. Staring at me with a concerned expression.

“I’m just going to the restroom.”

“Why are you crying?”

“It’s nothing.”

He placed his hand on my shoulder. “You’re obviously upset about something. Please tell me.”

I looked into his eyes and something in me broke. Keeping it all pent up was exhausting. I didn't talk about it to other people because I felt like it was my burden to bear. The few people I’d shared it with didn’t understand. It wasn’t visible. It wasn’t obvious, so how bad could it be?

“I’m different now. Things have changed.”

“You’ve said that before, but I don’t understand. Of course, you’re different. I am too. It’s been five years, of course you’ve changed.”

I looked up again, willing the tears away.

“It’s hard for me to talk about.”

He took my hand and led me up the rest of the stairs. He stopped at the top, looking around before guiding me to a bench nestled into the surrounding jungle.

He sat next to me, angling so we were facing one another. “Lucy, I know it’s been a while. You have a million reasons to hate me and never speak to me again, but before everything that happened, we were best friends. You can tell me.”

If only we were still those kids that thought their world was perfect. I wished I could go back to being that innocent, believing girl.

I looked into his eyes and saw a piece of the man I used to know. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to have someone I could talk to.