Page 38 of Buzzer Beater

I paused. I thought I just answered that. “Why what?” I felt like a total idiot for asking. I had a feeling this was one of those if you have to ask, you’re in too deep questions. Men fall for this trap all the time. It was my turn.

She drew in a long breath. “Why did you do it?”

I racked my brain for what she could mean. There were hundreds of possibilities but addressing the wrong one would lead to more pain. I couldn’t guess wrong.

She rolled her eyes. “Why did you cheat?”

She might as well have just sucker punched me. I was prepared to talk about anything and everything, except that. It was the one thing she didn’t let me address when I came back after the Olympics. The one thing I didn’t get to explain. Now that I had my chance, I felt like someone had their hands clutching my throat, slowly suffocating me.

Would she believe me after all this time? After thinking the same thing for years, could I change her mind?

“The pictures—”

She closed her eyes and I could practically see her folding into herself, shielding herself.

“They looked bad, I know,” I said, “but they weren’t the whole story.”

I waited for her to react, but she simply opened her eyes and waited.

“The girl was a skier from Italy. She was low on the ranks and had no chance of placing and getting a medal. She was desperate for any publicity. She cut in on other people’s interviews and made sure she was already dressed scantily, hoping to draw in the camera. The team knew to stay away from her and all the other women there. We were there to win.”

She lowered her gaze onto the table.

“We were doing really well,” I continued, “and once we made it to the finals, the press hounded us. Not just from the U.S., but it seemed like every reporter wanted to film or talk to us. The girl noticed this, and she became focused on the team.” I took a deep breath. “I wasn’t her only target. She was all over all of us. Most of the reporters ignored her, they knew what she was doing, but after a picture circulated of her kissing one of the other guys on the team made the news, she threw herself at us whenever a camera was around.”

I paused, hoping she would speak. She had to know where this story was going. Right?

“I was just one of the many guys that got caught in her crossfire. She kissed me on several occasions, but I always shoved her away. I tried to stay away from her, but she was like a leech.”

She looked up to the sky, still avoiding my gaze.

“You’re five years too late with your apology,” she said, finally staring me in the eyes.

“I tried to explain to you when I first got back—”

“Oh, you mean when you partied all night and expected me to stay up waiting for you? My love died for you that night. Why should I have given you a chance to explain? You had the chance, but you blew it.”

I hadn’t been partying. I stopped by to see my coach and it turned into a celebration with the rest of my team. I tried to let Lucy know I’d be late but my phone had died. Just another thing I never got the chance to explain. She saw the pictures and made the obvious assumption. I couldn't blame her. I’d been an idiot. I’d neglected her. If I’d been in her shoes and saw pictures of her kissing another man, I’d be livid.

“It was a mistake. I should have left and gone to you earlier.”

I looked up and relaxed a bit now that she was finally meeting my eyes.

“That hurt. I won’t downplay it, but that wasn’t the only reason things didn’t work out, Colin. It was just the nail in the coffin.”

I wanted to argue and tell her that we were fine back then. We could have made it, but I was the one off traveling the world. I’d left her behind.

“I know. I messed up a thousand times.”

She sighed. “It takes two to make a relationship work and I think it takes two to ruin it. We weren’t right for each other.”

I didn’t believe that. If the circumstances had been different, if I didn’t make the Olympic team, I think we would have stayed together.

She folded her napkin and sat it on her untouched plate. “Thank you for tonight. It was very thoughtful, and I appreciate your apology. I forgive you, but I think I should go.”

I stood as she did. “Lucy, please. Stay.”

She smiled sadly. “I don’t think that’s a good idea for either of us.”