Page 54 of Unwritten Rules

CAL

Like he wants to make your every wish a reality and he doesn’t care who knows it.

My stomach dips and I shoot him a quick middle finger emoji before slamming my phone on silent and sinking beneath the pristine hot water of the white marble tub.

I stay content where I am, re-filling the water twice when it’s cooled, wallowing in my misery for an absurdly inappropriate amount of time. Once the surrounding countryside is dark and silent, I slip from the water, quickly dry myself, and dress in a fresh pair of silky pyjamas.

My eyes are heavy and begging for sleep, so I slide into Nate’s bed, shifting onto my side as I tug my plush, Mitzi, close to my chest and allow my lids to drift closed.

I lie there, waiting with my eyes shut tight. My body is spent, my emotions even more so, but my brain just won’t quit.

The debate from earlier is playing on a loop through my mind.

Did I take things too far?

Nate’s hateful comments in his SUV tear strips from my wayward heart, reminding me of my place in his life.

Did he take things too far?

Once I start to toss and turn, sleep becomes an impossibility. I contemplate calling Eliza and unloading the whole sorry tale, knowing that she’s five hours behind the UK, but as I mull over the pros and cons, my mind finally starts to quiet. My contemplation slowly turns to exhaustion.

No sooner have my eyes shuttered closed than the familiar setting of my nightmares unfolds behind my lids.

The pain in my head amplifies as I live through that day from hell all over again, trapped in a prison of my own making.

I’m there, but I’m not. I feel like I’m watching as though from above, the whole scene playing out like a horror movie. And when it comes to the part where my brother is moments away from losing his life, I scream as loud as I can.

But nothing works. Every time, he’s deaf to my cries. Every time, the bullet slices through his strong chest and he falls to the ground. And I’m powerless to stop it.

Over and over, but no matter how loud I cry out, the scene continues on its soul-destroying loop, until suddenly, it’s gone.

Instead, Nate’s familiar scent fills my senses and the nightmare is replaced by darkness. By peace.

And an easy sleep overtakes me, allowing my mind and body to finally rest easily.

CHAPTER 17

NATE

After lashing out at Mila following the Romeo and Juliet debate, I speed out of the driveway of Hawthorne House. Deep down, I know I intend to return to apologise, but right now, I need to cool off.

Hauling her over the coals was not how I’d intended that conversation to go, but it was like the mere sight of her – the temptation of what I know I can’t have and shouldn’t want, especially since crossing the line last night, is too much to bear.

I know I was in the wrong. No matter what Mila had thrown in my face about Zara and my worthless father, I’d been the one to start everything by taking out my frustrations on her.

By blaming her for the scene that we had performed in class.

We, as in both of us. Plural.

But I’d been a fucking asshat and foisted the blame off onto her alone. Too guilty to admit to the moment we’d shared. Too fearful of how close I’d been to saying fuck it and taking things beyond the point of no return.

I wind up back at my office and settle at my desk to catch up on some grading. Time passes, and my mind gets lost in the monotony of marking papers.

Eventually, I stop and glance at the clock on my wall to find it’s almost midnight.

Crap!

Remembering our argument gives me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I’ve never been sharp with Mila before.