Page 1 of Motion to Dismiss

HARASSMENT (N.):

THE ACT OF SYSTEMATIC AND/OR CONTINUED UNWANTED AND ANNOYING ACTIONS OF ONE PARTY OR A GROUP, INCLUDING THREATS AND DEMANDS.

JAMESON

There are certain clients who make me wish I’d never become a lawyer.

They honestly make me wonder what would’ve happened if I’d pursued a life penning crime novels instead of spending endless hours coming up with ridiculous theories on how they’re “not guilty.”

Then again, someone has to do it…

“I swear, I did not do this, Mr. Tate,” my latest client, a college student named Paul Reaves, says. “I can prove it to you.”

“The cameras caught you walking into the aquarium empty-handed,” I say, sighing. “Then they caught you walking out with three penguins.”

“No, the penguins were following me.” He crosses his arms. “I felt bad since they got lost, so I placed them in my backseat.”

“Where you just so happened to have a full tank of ice waiting?”

“Yes.” He nods. “Because I was heading to a frat party afterward, remember? I was planning to take home a lot of beers.”

“What about the bags of penguin food you had in your front seat?”

“That was for my sister,” he says. “She likes to pretend like she’s an arctic animal. Polar bear, penguin, seal, you name it… She’s willing to testify to that.”

I give him a blank stare.

“What am I saying wrong?” His face reddens. “These were your ideas!”

“I didn’t realize how stupid they sounded when they weren’t on my paper…”

“I’m saying exactly what you told me to, Mr. Tate. If these aren’t working, how else can I prove my innocence?”

“You don’t need to prove anything to me,” I say. “We just have to convince one member on the jury.”

“One?” He arches a brow. “I thought I had twelve jurors.”

“You do,” I say. “But we only need one of them to be dumb enough to fall for this bullshit.”

“Oh. So, you think it’s possible?”

Sadly, yes. “We’ll see.” I stand up from my chair. “Head down the hall to Rachel and ask her to walk you through the cross examination. I need to make a few phone calls.”

“No, wait.” He moves toward me. “My mom is paying you quite well for this defense.”

“Okay. And?”

“And despite the fact that you seem rather off lately, she assured me that you’ve never lost a case,” he says. “So, you better not lose this one. Or else.”

“Are you threatening me, Paul?”

“I’m just saying that my family has a lot of huge contacts and influence in this city, Mr. Tate.” He narrows his eyes. “And if this is the case where your winning streak is finally broken, there will be severe consequences. Clear?”

I blink.

“Are we clear, Mr. Tate?”

“No.”