Page 82 of Hidden Desires

Tara wipes her nose, but her hands are shaking. She holds the vape pen like a lifeline. “I just—I’m so happy for you, but also I’m melting down, not gonna lie. Is this what being an adult is? Because I love it.”

I giggle, even as my gut twists. “Tara, you’re not even old enough to rent a car without a co-signer. You have a long ways to go.”

She leans in, almost conspiratorial. “So, what’s the secret? How do you get a man to propose? Because if I have to date another loser, I will set myself on fire. Seriously, Jeremy was the worst.”

I think about the last year—about the fights, the stress, the cam shows, the confrontations with my parents. I think about the way Jack held me when I was at my worst, the way he never lied even when the truth made things tangled and difficult. The secret is that there is no secret. It’s just choosing to show up, even when the going gets tough.

“You just keep loving them, I guess,” I say. “And pick someone who can handle your particular brand of insanity.”

Tara snorts, then immediately starts crying again.

Jack takes the phone and says, “Hey. You okay, kiddo?”

My pretty friend tries to smile, but her lips wobble. “Not really. I did something really dumb.”

“What?” I ask, cold needle of dread sliding into my chest.

She glances away from the camera, out at the snow-packed lot, then back at me, eyes huge and wet. “Well, you know I was feeling so weird after the break-up even though I don’t actually care about Jeremy, so I called my stepbrother. You know, the one I said I’d never talk to again.”

I blink. “The one who sent you that birthday card? That was kind of sexy and romantic?”

She nods, shame blooming across her cheeks. “Yeah. I thought maybe, you know, I’d visit him or something. He is really hot.”

Jack and I exchange a look. I mouth, “Yikes,” and he shrugs.

“So what happened?” I say, bracing myself.

Tara sucks on the vape pen, and the thinks. “Well, so we got to talking and Hunter is really hot. Like, so hot it’s insane. He has his own company, and it’s going bananas, supposedly with a valuation in the billions. So he asked if I wanted to see his new place and—” She puts her head in her hands. “I almost did it, Eliza. I almost went over there because I wanted to see him.”

I pause.

“It’s not wrong to visit your stepbrother.”

Tara shoots me a look.

“It is if you’re attracted to him. And if he’s a dominant, charismatic billionaire. You know how gross that is?”

I want to laugh a little, but the look on her face stops me. She’s really rattled.

“So did you?” I say, soft.

She shakes her head. “No, but now I can’t stop thinking about him. He texted me, like, five times. I don’t know what’s wrong with me because I want to go there, but I know I shouldn’t.”

I nod with understanding, because if anyone gets the allure of bad ideas, it’s me. “Tara, you’re not a freak. You’re just a normal woman with physical needs. It doesn’t make you a monster.”

She looks up, eyes huge. “But I am, Eliza. I have feelings for a man who’s related to me.”

I reach for the phone, my heart twisting. “You’re not related, and Hunter’s not really your brother. He’s not your blood relative, so it’s not like that. In fact, you guys barely know each other, right?”

She nods, then breathes out, “Sort of. I guess.”

But from the look in her eyes, I know Tara’s not exactly being honest.

“So you do know each other?”

“No, no, we don’t,” she corrects quickly. “Sorry, I was just spiraling.” Then, she wipes her face and forces a smile. “Anyway. I’m proud of you, Eliza. For finding someone and making it work. You’re amazing, and I’m so happy for you guys.”

She’s about to say something else when there’s a sudden, deafening squeal of tires from her end. The screen jerks wildly, Tara’s face vanishes in a smear of motion, and then comes the unmistakable, sickening crunch of metal on metal. The video freezes, then pixelates, and then is gone.