Page 69 of A Bookish Story

He lights the fire, and it comes to life, flames licking, roaring like a lion. Ryan stands in front of it for several seconds then turns to me.

“Why were you walking in the rain? Did your car break down?”

“No, I…jumped out of my mother’s car.”

He quirks a brow. “You what?”

“I’m not explaining this well,” I admit, pulling the towel around my shoulders. “I didn’t literally jump. You know, I exaggerate.”

He nods. “You are fond of hyperbole, I’ve noticed.”

“We were coming back from the church singles event she wanted to attend.”

“Ah.” He comes to sit beside me. “You’re both looking to meet someone new.”

“Not me, it was my mother. I was there to weed out the losers. She was there trying to make someone jealous.”

I’m almost sure of it. Why else would she want Eddie there if not to show him how many other men found her attractive and the dinner dates she could arrange. It’s a move straight out of the Geneva Santana playbook of feminine power. She makes her moves with such finesse no one notices. I’m sure Eddie has little clue he’s in her scope. She’s about to reel him in and he won’t even see it coming.

“Trying to make who jealous?” Poor Ryan, his forehead is furrowed in confusion. This is what my mother does to reasonable men. “Her ex-husband?”

“My uncle.”

And I tell him everything.

CHAPTER 23

“That’s… I don’t know what to say.” Ryan rubs his temples. “This is a later-in-life second chance.”

Normally, I’d be thinking the same. But it’s more than I can handle at the moment. First, my mother talks about her entire life as if she’s in a play, and now Ryan is referring to a romance trope.

“This is real life!” I raise my voice and jerk back in surprise.

I’m not in the habit of yelling but now I’ve done this twice with Ryan. I remind myself I’m no longer going to make myself smaller. I can be loud if I want to be. And in this setting, the warm fire crackling, the rushing sound of the rain falling outside, it’s soothing. I’m starting to feel safe.

“Sorry. You’re right. But I studied this and it always surprises me to see how it has a basis in real life even if it’s never as clear-cut.” He clears his throat. “I thought you liked your uncle. He seems like a nice guy.”

“He is, but he’s my father’s brother,” I say slowly, like I’m talking to a four-year-old.

“Yeah, that’s usually what uncle means.” This time, there’s no condescension in his tone, and he gives me a little quirk of the lips.

“Don’t you think it’s strange?”

“Yeah, sure, but it’s not like they got together right after he died, right? Your mother married and divorced someone else.”

“Ugh, I thought you of all people would know how I feel. You had a great love, and so did my parents. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. The kind of love that comes along once in a lifetime if you’re lucky.”

A flush goes up Ryan’s neck. “You’re wrong about me. I didn’t have this great love, Luci. Don’t put me in that category. The book has made you think of me in a different light and that’s not fair. It was a book, not my reality.”

“Look, my entire life I’ve had this picture of my parents and their perfect marriage. My memories are all good. They adored each other.”

“First, there’s no perfect marriage, but how has this view of your parents changed? It isn’t like they divorced or ever stopped loving each other.”

He’s right, of course. At least they never grew to hate each other. He never had to wonder whether she’d have been happier with Eddie. It’s the upside in all of this.

“I hate thinking someone else was her first love. Especially Eddie. The truth is I’m sad for him. All these years, he never found someone. Maybe my mother was his only chance.”

I’m being childish, and some part of me knows this, but it’s tough to look through another lens when the one you had worked beautifully. My lens had colors, vibrant, bright, and shimmering. It had memories of love, sharp and clear. Now there’s a gray film over my lens that comes with a dullness I can never dust off.