Page 53 of The Perfect Heart

“I’m really sorry, Nash. I know you probably felt like shit and didn’t understand. I’m sorry I didn’t fight harder for you like you would have for me.”

“Halle, don’t say that.”

I pulled her into me and felt her shaking, though I didn’t know whether it was from the effort of telling me her story, her emotions, or that she was trying to hold tears back. Maybe all three.

“Halle, nothing he did was your fault.” I murmured the reassurance into her hair, taking deep breaths for her benefit, hoping she would sync with me, as much as for mine, as I tried to calm my rage. “You did what you could. I wouldn’t want you to fight if it meant he would punish you, or retaliate, or do whatever he did.”

She wrapped her arms around me, her nails digging into my skin as she clung to me, and I held her that much more tightly, wishing I had known, wishing I could have done something, wishing I could have been there to protect her.

“Jack was the problem, not you. And I promise he’s never going to touch you again, physically or mentally, okay? I will protect you with my life, no matter what.”

It was more than a promise—it was a sacred oath that I was swearing with all of my being.

“You will always be safe with me, Halle. I swear it.”

Chapter 26

Halle

“SEE YOU AT WORK?”

Nash leaned over the console to kiss me, lingering even though he had to leave.

“I’ll be there,” I finally told him, a little breathless and wishing he could come up to my apartment instead of dropping me off. And from the desire swirling in his eyes, Nash felt the same.

But we both had work to do—he had to open the bar, and I had to get to the grocery store and back before my shift started. I gave him a final peck on the cheek while I undid my seatbelt and opened the car door before either of us could think better of it.

We would be together again in a few hours, anyway.

I closed the door and waved as Nash backed his car up and drove away, reluctantly, I felt, and turned to hike my way up to the apartment.

Since my revelations last night to Nash, I was almost sure our connection was deeper. I had been so afraid to tell him, so scared he would be disgusted or ask me why the hell I hadn’t just left or why I hadn’t fought harder to keep our friendship. I had expected anger, revulsion, frustration, and an end to our night and possibly our blossoming relationship.

But instead, I had received understanding, love, and support. The same things I had needed and wanted so desperately from the one man, the one person, I was supposed to receive it from. Instead, I had found it in the last place I had thought to look, but where it had been all along.

How had I never seen it? Never thought about it? Nash had been my safe place through high school, even if it had come from a place of friendship instead of romance.

More than that, why had I expected Nash to reject me? To call me names, call me stupid, to blame me for what had happened, to eject me from his life? Time might have passed, changing Nash from a boy into a man, but deep down, he was still the same kind, caring guy he’d always been.

I should have trusted him more, believed in our friendship. But Jack had all but obliterated my self-confidence and my belief in people. I just hadn’t realized how much until I was out from under his thumb and his influence, when I didn’t have to contend with his constant yelling and berating. When I could breathe and see what life was like when Jack wasn’t trying to control my every move and every hair on my head.

But, well, I had gotten it out. Not all of it—not only was it impossible to tell everything in one night, but I wasn’t ready on any level for specifics. I couldn’t relieve those moments. Not right now. I had gotten out the words, though, admitting them to myself as much as Nash, and it had brought down the last wall between us.

It had felt almost like a physical crash, the words releasing the flood I’d held back for so long, the walls I’d built, the walls Nash couldn’t breach that had been the last barrier between us. The release for me had been cathartic, too. The day felt brighter, I felt lighter, and, more than anything, I felt loved.

The words he had used last night: I love you, Halle.

I knew Nash meant them, too. It wasn’t a throw-away phrase like it had been with Jack, words intended to manipulate and draw me in. I wasn’t sure Jack had said I love you in the five years we’d been married, in fact, except when he had gone too far and was trying to get me to believe he felt bad, trying to keep me with him, guilt me into staying when I should have left as soon as he showed me exactly who he was: the moment he had told me I was his, and he wasn’t letting me go.

But Nash was the one who hadn’t let go, who had been holding on even when I had let go, who had remained there, waiting, even when I didn’t know it. He had always been there for me, and I felt the same emotion burning in my chest he had expressed, growing until I thought I would burst from it and the happiness that accompanied it.

I hadn’t reached the top steps when I saw the flowers sitting just outside my door. My heart jumped, my body flooding with warmth and happiness. I didn’t know when he’d had the time, but Nash had sent me flowers. When was the last time I had received flowers out of pure love? I couldn’t remember. They were my favorites, too: peonies, out of season though they were.

Of course, he remembered.

The gum wrapper stuffed into the door frame fell to the ground as I opened it—no one had been inside—and I picked it up along with the flowers and deposited them both inside on the counter. The heat was on, amazingly. The guy had come out to fix the thermostat, bless Marie and Nash, who had finally called her himself when I had refused, not wanting to impose on her kindness. Though I had a feeling Nash had paid for it himself or had at least offered.

Glancing at the time, I headed for the bathroom to finish getting ready, throwing on new clothes in between washing my face, putting some makeup on, and brushing my hair. I had just enough time to get to the grocery store in town and back before leaving again for work.