Page 33 of Dare to be Wicked

Cassius let out an uneven breath and forced himself to move away. He turned his back as Lottie stood and dressed, the rustling of fabric providing his imagination with quite enough information to torment him.

“I’ll see you in the morning, then,” she said, her voice dull.

Cassius turned, wanting to take away the sorrow he could see in her eyes. “I’ll walk you back.”

She shook her head at once. “No. Someone might see. It’s only the garden, and I got here easily enough. It’s quite all right. Goodnight, Cassius.”

A thousand words crowded on his tongue: protests, demands that she stay, love words and promises he had no right to speak. In the end, though, he said none of them. He’d botched everything and he’d not botch this. If he had to wait to declare his intentions, then so be it. He must wait. So he simply nodded and watched her go, watched her until she was out of sight, the soft white fabric of her wrap fading into the darkness like some lovely, ghostly dream.

At least no one doubted she was ill, Lottie thought with a wry smile. She’d found her bed in the hour before dawn and fallen into an exhausted sleep, not waking until gone midday. When she finally opened her eyes, it was to discover her temper fraying and a dull headache that pulsed at her temples. It was all well and good for her and Cassius to speak of and dream about a beautiful future, but this morning reality seemed far too big an ordeal to overcome. Despondency settled over her, dampening her spirits like a sodden wool blanket. She felt lethargic under the weight of it and cross with the world at large, and it was too easy to pretend she had come down with some mysterious malady. After breaking her fast in her room and discovering that heartache did not affect her appetite, she made her way down the stairs.

The afternoon was a little cooler than previous days, with soft cotton wool clouds scudding about the sky and, at intervals, hiding the sun from view. As she did not much like her own company at present, she judged it best she not inflict it on anyone else, and headed for the library. Though it was a lovely room, it would usually be empty on a summer’s afternoon, when the countess had arranged entertainments for her guests. There was archery set up today and there had been murmurs of taking boats out on the lake, but Lottie had not bothered herself to discover what they had decided upon. Instead, she drifted into the library, intending to sit herself down and gaze out of the window. She was thinking about last night and the fact she had completed her dare already, not that she could tell anyone. Oh, good heavens no, but… but she had been wicked. There was no doubt of that.

To her chagrin, and with the unpleasant jolt of a guilty conscience, Lottie discovered Eliza had beaten her to it. Her sister was curled up in a comfy chair with a book in her lap and her gaze fixed on the sky outside. Lottie hesitated and had almost decided to bolt before Eliza looked up and saw her.

“Do stop dithering in the doorway and sit down. I won’t bite.”

Shame rose inside Lottie as she realised Eliza probably wished for her company, for a confidante to discuss Cassius and his rejection of her. Lottie had not offered that, as she would have done in any other circumstance.

“Are you well, Eliza?” she asked tentatively.

Her sister turned her expressive green eyes upon Lottie, one dark eyebrow lifting. “No, I am considering throwing myself in the lake and having done with it.”

At Lottie’s gasp of shock, Eliza snorted and rolled her eyes, something so out of character that Lottie could only gape.

“Oh, sit down, Lottie. You’re making the place look untidy,” Eliza said, shaking her head.

She made an impatient gesture towards the chair beside her and so Lottie took it, regarding her cautiously. It was unlike Eliza to make sarcastic comments and cynical remarks, and this new version of her sibling was unsettling.

“Did you have a nice time last night?” she ventured, too cowardly to tackle this unknown creature head on.

Eliza shrugged. “I suppose so. Louis César was most amusing, very attentive. Everyone thinks he will propose to me.”

“So soon? Will you accept?” Lottie asked.

Eliza plucked irritably at a loose thread on the overstuffed chair she was curled into.

“I don’t know. Do you think I should?” She turned her gaze upon Lottie, a frown tugging her dark brows together.

“You don’t love him,” Lottie said, startled to discover Eliza would even consider such a thing.

“No.”

“Well, then.”

“Well, then,” Eliza said absently, turning away and watching the clouds as they drifted past, her finger tracing the embossed pattern on the leather cover of the book she wasn’t reading. She was quiet for a long moment. “Do you think he’ll join us again, or have I frightened him away?”

Lottie blinked at the sudden change of subject but then grasped at the opportunity to mend fences. “You haven’t frightened him. He just feels horribly guilty for having upset you so. He never meant to you know. He would rather die than hurt you, that’s why he couldn’t bear to tell you. I know he misses you. You’re his best friend, Eliza and now he can’t face you because he feels so wretched. We both know it isn’t in Cassius to be cruel or unkind.”

She let out a breath, relieved to have been able to say something to defend him.

Eliza turned a puzzled expression in her direction.

“Cassius?” she murmured and then her expression cleared. “Oh. Yes, Cassius.”

A slight blush of colour tinged her cheeks and she set her book aside, getting to her feet.

“Where are you going?” Lottie asked, baffled by her sister’s odd behaviour.