Page 10 of To Wager with Love

“That’s true,” he allowed, smiling a little. “But only up until the summer you turned sixteen. Then… then it was what I lived for.”

Harriet’s eyes stung and she looked away. Despite her best intentions, she gave a snort of laughter.

“You could have fooled me,” she muttered, though so quietly he likely hadn’t heard her.

“Harry,” he said her name like a plea, aching with sadness.

She forced herself to look back at him, determined to end this once and for all. If he was really as unhappy as he sounded—which she could not believe for a moment—then he deserved to be rid of her every bit as much as she needed to be rid of him. This was it. She would tell him she didn’t care for him and they could both move on.

The moment her gaze met his, the words died in her throat and her breath caught as she saw the look in his eyes.

“Harry,” he said again. “Don’t you care anymore? Don’t you care just a little?”

She felt giddy all at once, overcome with heat and emotion and the way he was looking at her, as if… as if he wanted to carry her off to the summerhouse and make passionate love to her.

Oh, good Lord.

No man had ever looked at her that way. She doubted anyone ever would again. Fool. The only reason Jasper looked that way was because she’d rebuffed him for so long. He was like a boy denied a treat, wanting it beyond reason simply because he’d been told no. Yet, an uncomfortable truth rose as she stared up at him and recognised that unrestrained desire.

She felt it too.

She wanted him.

She wanted him badly, and she was indeed a fool to think she could just walk away and he’d not plague her any longer. He would always plague her, even if she was on the other side of the world. He was under her skin and he’d always be there.

Then, perhaps this would finally rid her of him. She snatched at the idea even as a faint voice told her it was preposterous. Harriet hushed it, too eager for a reason to believe in this new and alluring possibility. Perhaps if she gave in to her physical desire, her stupid heart would recognise that it had only been lust, not love. Certainly Jasper would be done with her. He’d lose interest once he’d had what he wanted, and she’d come to her senses once and for all. Why not just get it over with and put them both out of their misery?

In that moment it seemed perfectly logical. A perfectly reasoned argument. Harriet could deal with a logical argument, it was emotions she struggled to comprehend. This wasn’t her heart leading her. That would be foolish. No, this was a cold, calculated decision that would set her free.

“Harry, answer me, for the love of God,” he begged.

She didn’t answer him. Answering him was far too dangerous. No. Far better to just get it over with now the decision had been made. The dance ended, and she didn’t let go of his hand but tugged at it, pulling him from the dance floor.

“Harry,” he said, his voice urgent. “What are you doing? You promised to answer the question.”

She ignored him and forced her way through the throng, heading outside the open doors and into the darkness beyond.

“Where are we going?” he demanded, an odd note to his voice as she hurried down the steps and into the garden. “Harriet, for heaven’s sake, slow down! Where are we going?”

She still didn’t answer, moving so fast she was breathless.

“Harry!”

“To the summerhouse,” she said over her shoulder, impatient now and not slowing her pace.

There was a stunned silence.

“The summerhouse?”

The hand she held tugged back and with such forced she stumbled into him. Jasper steadied her, his hands at her waist once more. She stared at his cravat, which gleamed a snowy white in the moonlight. Looking into his eyes was a very bad idea, as she’d already concluded, so she forced her gaze to remain riveted on the pristine linen.

“Why are we going to the summerhouse?” he asked, and she thought he sounded breathless too.

All that running had winded them both, she supposed.

“You know why,” she replied, irritated by the question. It had been his dare, hadn’t it?

He tilted her chin up, forcing her to look at him. Damn it, those dreadful eyes… there should be a law against them. They gave him an unfair advantage over lesser mortals.