Page 12 of To Follow her Heart

“Are you all right?” she asked, tugging her to a halt.

Harriet took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes. Yes, I’m fine, I…. Oh, damn my tongue. Why can’t I just make small talk like everyone else? I mean to, I swear I do, but it always seemed so… so stupid not to say what one really thinks or to consider a question properly rather than giving a glib answer.” She turned a pleading expression on Kitty. “Why couldn’t I just say ‘yes, Lord St Clair, it was a very pleasant evening?’”

“Because you’re honest and clever, and that night was about far more than fireworks, as everyone in a brain in their head surely knew. I knew it, and I certainly don’t consider myself an intellectual,” Kitty added with a laugh.

“But I promised myself I’d be good and sociable and polite to St Clair,” Harriet said, sounding so mournful that Kitty felt wretched for her. “I promised Henry, too. He’ll be so cross. I… I don’t know what comes over me, truly I don’t. Jasper—Lord St Clair—seems to have a knack for making me behave badly.”

“You’ve known him a long time,” Kitty said, wondering if she could get Harriet to tell her what the problem was. “Since you were children?”

Harriet nodded. “Yes, we grew up together. I probably spent more time here than at my own home as our parents were often away. The countess liked having us about as playmates for Jasper and Jerome, so….” She shrugged and they walked on, arm-in-arm.

“Did you always hate him?”

“I don’t hate him,” Harriet said with a huff of annoyance. “That would imply he holds far more of my attention than he does. I simply don’t like him. He’s like an irritating bluebottle. Once you know it’s there, you simply have to get rid of it.”

“Did you always dislike him, then?” Kitty pressed, determined to get an answer.

“No,” she said, sighing. It was a rather wistful sound, sorrowful even. “No, we were friends once.”

Kitty smiled, feeling a sudden kinship with Harriet. “Did you love him?”

“Good heavens, no!” Harriet exclaimed, looking alarmed by the idea and shattering Kitty’s romantic ideas of having found a kindred spirit. “He was always a beastly boy and I was always the butt of his jokes. I don’t think I ever did more than tolerate him, or him me, but there was no animosity there until later. I was sixteen when I realised what a smug, self-centred coxcomb he really is. I simply don’t understand why everyone fawns over him so.”

“Don’t you?” Kitty said, raising one eyebrow and quizzing Harriet with her most sceptical expression.

Harriet sighed and pushed her glasses up her nose, a gesture of irritation Kitty had become familiar with. “Oh, very well. Yes, he’s handsome and charming and rich, and he has a title, but that falls a long way short of impressing me, I can tell you.”

“Clearly,” Kitty said with a laugh, and feeling desperately sorry for St Clair. If he did have feelings for Harriet, he was doomed to disappointment. If that gorgeous man with his wit, his fortune and an earldom couldn’t impress Harriet Stanhope, she wondered what on earth he’d need to do. She wondered if Harriet had any clue of his feelings for her. “I think you rather impress him, though, Harry.”

Harriet stopped in her tracks and glared at Kitty. “Now, this… this is what no one understands,” she said, her eyes flashing with annoyance. “It’s all a game to him. He expects the world to love him and fall victim to his charms, and when they don’t, they become a challenge. He can’t bear it that I won’t fall at his feet like the rest of the world, that’s all. If I changed my mind and was actually nice to him, he’d be onto the next challenge so fast my head would spin.”

Kitty frowned. She could see what Harriet was saying, and it made complete sense. She’d met men like that herself, but… but something in the way St Clair had looked at Harriet made Kitty believe that wasn’t it.

“Why not be nice to him, then?” Kitty said, curious what would happen if Harriet did just that. “If you’re so certain. Then he’d stop bothering you.”

Harriet looked at her as if she’d started speaking Chinese. “I’d never give him the satisfaction,” she said, revolted.

With a sigh, Kitty put the conversation to one side. “What did you think of Lady Frances?”

“I think she’s a duke’s daughter,” Harriet replied, her tone suggesting this was not a compliment. The two women glanced at each other and burst out laughing. “Oh, Kitty, I am glad you came,” Harriet said, grinning at her.

Kitty felt a surge of warmth for the rather prickly young woman at her side. She’d not liked her much at first, a little intimidated by her intelligence and rather cool demeanour. It had become clear that wasn’t who Harriet was once you got to know her, however, she was simply reserved. Kitty was pleased to discover she’d made a good friend.

“I’m glad you invited me,” she said.

“Oh, Kitty, the bear,” Harriet said, grabbing hold of Kitty’s arm, her eyes alight with laughter. “They’re all at dinner. It’s the perfect moment.”

“Let’s go!” Kitty gave a laugh of delight, and they hurried off towards St Clair’s study.

Chapter 4

Dear Bonnie, you desired gossip… I have it. Only you must not breathe a word of it to anyone. I cannot be absolutely certain as it is only from observing the man since we got here but Matilda has suspected the same thing for some time.

St Clair is in love… with Harriet!

―Excerpt of a letter from Miss Kitty Connolly to Miss Bonnie Campbell.

Still the 20th August 1814, Holbrooke House, Sussex.