Page 61 of To Break the Rules

Lucia blinked back tears, overwhelmed by his words and loving him so fiercely that she wondered at the power of her own feelings. The sudden desire to protect him was overwhelming.

“The ton will ridicule you, for marrying me when I’m… I’m… Kutcha butcha,” she spat the words out, but she needed to be explicit. He’d only just learnt the truth, after all. He’d not had time to consider. “It means half-baked bread, neither Indian nor British. I belong nowhere, Silas.”

She watched as his jaw tightened, his eyes growing dark and furious. “I need neither permission nor approbation in deciding who it is I love. I’m the head of my family and I turned my back on the blasted ton when I was a boy. Frankly, I don’t give a… a snap of my fingers for their opinion.” He took a deep breath, struggling to get his temper under control. “I’d put it in more accurate terms, but I try to moderate my language in front of ladies,” he added, sounding so mutinous she couldn’t help but smile at him.

“All the same,” she said gently, reaching out and putting her hand to his cheek. “Perhaps… perhaps you should take a little time to consider… oh!”

There was a flash of some dark emotion in his eyes and he moved before she could finish her sentence. He swept her up, removing her from his lap and putting her down again, none too gently. Taking a moment to tug at his waistcoat and adjust his sleeves, she watched in astonishment as he got to one knee before her.

Her breath caught as she realised his intent, and then she smiled as he opened his mouth to speak and shut it again.

“I don’t know your real name,” he said in surprise as she gave a startled little laugh.

It was the one part of her history she’d still not shared with him.

“Aashini,” she said, feeling suddenly shy, which seemed ridiculous but was true.

“Aashini,” he repeated, her name spoken with such reverence she blushed a little. “How beautiful.”

“It means ‘a lightning bolt,’” she said smiling. “Which you may live to regret.”

Her heart swelled as she looked at the man she loved on bended knee before her. Whatever came next, whatever they faced together, she would always remember this moment, and never regret it.

“Never,” he said, taking her hand in his. “You’ve struck to the heart of me, and there you shall remain, Aashini.”

“It will take some getting used to,” she admitted. “I’ve been Lucia for such a long time.”

“For both of us,” he said, nodding. “But whether you are Lucia or Aashini, you will have me at your side. Which leads me to my next question.” He grew serious, raising her hand to his lips and kissing her fingers. “Aashini, will you marry me? Please, darling?”

She laughed then a choked sound that caught in her throat as his face blurred with tears.

“Yes,” she said, opening her arms to him. “Yes! Yes, please.”

***

Matilda paced her bedroom, wondering how much longer she ought to wait.

It was the height of impropriety to allow Lord Cavendish to be alone with Lucia, but she trusted him. He was a man of honour, she was certain. Lucia was also not a woman who would give her favours away lightly. Good Lord, she’d had some staggering offers for the privilege of bedding her, the kind of sums that would have seen her wealthy for the rest of her days. Yet she had turned aside every single one with disdain.

There was a proposal coming today too, Matilda felt certain of it, but this one was the kind with a marriage, children, and security.

“Oh, say yes, Lucia,” she muttered, feeling breathless with anticipation.

Why she felt so certain it would be today, she wasn’t sure, only… the looks she’d seen between them the last time they were together had been eloquent. Her heart ached, wondering what it must feel like to be so loved, and to love so completely. Would she ever know that?

An unwelcome surge of jealous filled her heart and she shook herself, forcing it away. Lucia and all her friends deserved their happiness, and she took joy in it. Matilda would never, could never, reproach them for their happiness. Only she wished to experience it too.

Yet she was increasingly aware that the greatest barrier to her own happiness was herself.

She had once told her brother, Nate, she just wanted a good man, an honest one.

“I want someone who will be kind. Someone warm and loving and loyal. Is that too much to ask?”

It had seemed so simple a request, and there was Mr Burton, wanting to court her. He was that someone, warm and kind and loyal, and no doubt loving, should she give him the slightest encouragement.

She hadn’t.

Oh, they were very good friends, and she enjoyed his company, but….