Page 48 of To Steal a Kiss

They walked in silence for a little. She thought perhaps Matilda needed a moment to compose herself, and Alice was more than content to remember the moments she’d just shared with Nate, and the illicit thrill of his hot skin beneath her hands. Her fingers still burned with the memory. She could see him now, walking a little ahead of them with Henry, his broad shoulders filling the dark blue coat he wore like a hand in a glove.

Alice sighed.

“Did you enjoy the cascade, my dear?” Matilda asked, sounding altogether too innocent.

Alice looked up to see amusement glimmering in her friend’s eyes and blushed furiously.

“It was most… diverting,” she said with dignity, putting her chin in the air. Then she caught Matilda’s eye again and could do nothing but dissolve into giggles as Matilda joined her. Nate turned and looked at them, raising one eyebrow, and the two of them only laughed harder, drawing stares of reproach from disapproving matrons on all sides.

Alice felt a rush of happiness. Not only was Nate hers, desperate to wed her and make her his own, but Matilda was by her side too. She would have a sister, a family who were warm and loving and so different from her own it was hard to credit.

She felt a pang at the idea her parents might disown her if she followed this path to its natural conclusion. Though their selfishness hurt her, their ambitions were for her as much as for themselves. They simply didn’t understand why such things were not of importance to her too. That happiness should come before status was something that would be as foreign a concept to them as the reverse was to Alice. Would they ever forgive her? The likelihood that they would not was one she could not ignore.

If she married Nate, they would believe she’d brought shame upon their family. Indeed, she knew in the eyes of the ton, it would be true.

If she loved Nate, however—and she was rushing towards that inevitable conclusion at a terrifying rate—she wouldn’t care a straw for the ton, or for their opinions. Alice smiled as she realised, that was already true. She didn’t care what they thought. For her whole life the idea of doing something that would incur the censure of the ton had terrified her. No longer. She didn’t care what they thought of Nate, nor or Matilda, she knew what she thought, who she cared for, and that was all that mattered.

Chapter 15

Did you see St Clair at Vauxhall? I don’t know why everyone insists on sighing and mooning over him. Even Henry idolises him. Well, I certainly do not. He’s nothing but a conceited coxcomb.

―Excerpt of a letter from Miss Harriet Stanhope to Miss Bonnie Campbell.

The evening of the 26th June 1814. The Supper Rooms, Vauxhall Gardens, Lambeth.

Alice bid Matilda goodbye with regret, sharing a last lingering look with Nate as he touched a finger to his hat and gave her a secret smile. Tomorrow, she would see him again, she promised herself, a flutter of anticipation filling her chest.

“Are you enjoying yourself, Alice?”

“Oh, yes, indeed,” she replied, turning as Kitty took her arm. “It’s all been wonderful. Have you?”

“How could I not?” Kitty exclaimed, looking as though she might burst. “It’s been marvellous, but where did you get to during the cascade? One moment you were there, and the next….”

Alice fought the blush that rose at her cheeks and cursed her pale complexion. Before she could even consider a lie to cover her blushes—which she really ought to have thought of before now—Kitty grasped her arm.

“Alice!” she exclaimed, lowering her voice to a thrilled whisper. “Who is he?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

Kitty returned a blank look. “That blush was a dead giveaway,” she replied, looking unimpressed with Alice’s attempt at deflection.

“Well, w-who says there’s a he at all?” Alice said with a huff, glancing around to ensure no one overheard them.

“The colour of your cheeks says so,” Kitty said, snorting with delight. “Oh, Alice, you look like a boiled lobster.”

“How kind of you to observe it,” she said, rather mortified.

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Kitty pressed, and then took Alice’s hand, holding it between hers. “There is someone, isn’t there?” she asked, a wistful look in her eyes that gave Alice pause. Kitty gave a heavy sigh. “You lucky thing. Is he very handsome?”

Alice smiled despite herself and nodded. “He is rather, yes.”

Kitty gave a delighted squeal and threaded her arm though Alice’s once more.

“Do you love him?”

Alice caught her breath, allowing herself to think about the question once more, not that she’d thought of much else of late. A smile curved over her mouth as she remembered Nate, his soft kisses and desperate promises for the future, his plea to her to marry him.

“Oh,” Kitty said, sighing. “You do, don’t you?”