Page 78 of Lovestrung

“It’s the truth. My story isn’t unique or special, Pen. He was a drunk all my life, knocking us around – my mom tried to protect me as much as she could, but when she wasn’t there…I was the one who had to endure his punishment.”

Tears leaked from my eyes. “Oh, Ethan…”

“That day wasn’t any different at first.” Ethan burrowed deeper into me, still shivering. “Except he seemed edgier, raving more than usual.” He raised his head, and the tears on his eyelashes and cheeks tore me in two. “We were in the kitchen when he came home from work. Mom was cooking dinner, trying her best to be as quiet and quick as possible, and I was doing my homework while she cooked. Those few, precious hours we had before he came home? They were the only sparks of sunshine in my life until I met you.”

“Tell me what happened.”

He stumbled through the words as if a dam had burst. “He…he started to criticize her – calling her a whore and yelling that she’d ruined his life when she got pregnant with me.” Ethan shook his head as his eyes took on a faraway look as if he was back in that kitchen. “As if the fucking bastard had nothing to do with it.” He wiped his nose on his arm, seeming to steady himself. “That seemed to be the breaking point for my mom – the final straw, I mean – because she jammed the lid on the pot filled with pasta she was cooking and turned to face him. I’ll never forget the look on her face…”

“What look?”

“So much hatred,” he whispered. “Her left eye black and blue from the last time he’d smashed her around, and her body frail and thin. But her eyes…when she went to war with him, telling him to get out and leave us alone…I’ll never forget her eyes in that moment. I stood up, made to go to her side, but she held her arm out, telling me to run next-door, get the neighbors to call the cops.” He swallowed, hard. “My dad lunged for me, but I was quick and managed to evade him somehow. I ran out the front door, yelling when I heard my dad’s roar. Fuck me, the rage and violence could have shaken the entire ground, that’s how loud it seemed to me. And then…”

I pulled his head down, refusing to let him evade my eyes. “Finish it, baby. You’ve come this far.”

His eyes bore into mine, filled with bravery and determination. “I was knocking madly on the door to our neighbors, and just as it opened, I heard a shot. For a few seconds, I was frozen, until another shot burst from my house. I begged the old lady to call the police.” Then I ran back to my house and I found Mom lying on the floor, blood spilling everywhere. He’d shot her right in her heart.”

“Good God,” I cried. “I’m so sorry.”

“Dad was slumped to the side, leaning against the stove with a gun in his hand. His eyes were glassy, devoid of emotion…As if ending her life had snuffed his own life force,” Ethan murmured, a frown between his eyes. “Everything was a daze. I don’t remember much of what happened next, except some police officer had to pry my hands away from my mom’s body. I kicked and screamed…I couldn’t stand to leave her, but I wasn’t strong enough. The police called Social Services and the lady who responded then took me away.”

I ran my fingers through his hair, trying my best to get my emotions under control so that I could be what I’d promised I would: strong for him.

“Is he still alive?” I whispered.

Ethan gritted his teeth. “Yeah, the bastard lives. His lawyer spun a tale of addiction and mental illness, so he’d spend the rest of his life in prison instead of getting the needle.” He sighed and turned to lie on his back, but pulled me with him, and my body sunk down into his. “After that, I spent some time in a group home until your mom and dad became my foster parents.”

I moved my legs until I was astride him and caressed his chest. “You don’t believe that he was mentally ill at the time?”

His eyes turned hard. “No, I don’t. I don’t ever think about him if I can avoid it.”

I nodded, understanding that part. Who’d want to think back on such horrible memories?

“I don’t know what to say, other than thank you for trusting in me,” I smiled softly at him. “I can’t imagine what you must’ve gone through, baby, and I’m sorrier than I can say that you lost your mom…but I can never be anything less but thankful that you came into my home and became a part of my family.”

He raised his hand, tucking strands of my hair behind my ear. “Thank you for listening.”

“Always.”

His lips tipped up at the corners. “That was quite the mood breaker, wasn’t it?”

“Maybe, but I want to know everything about you, Ethan. Nothing is going to scare me away, and it’s time you realize that.” I leaned down and kissed him. “Got it?”

His lips stretched in a wide smile. “Yeah. I’ve got it.”

“Good.”

20

Sanity Has Left The Building

Saturday morning arrived, and it was time I left Ethan’s apartment. I’d been dodging my mom’s inquisitive texts all week, but I couldn’t stand keeping secrets from her, and I knew it was time I went home. That it was time I spent some quality time with them and Gramps.

Ethan also had to work all weekend. Dread the likes of which I’d never experienced had settled in my stomach like lead because he still hadn’t told me about this second job of his, and it bothered me, probably more than it should. While I knew he wasn’t in any trouble or doing anything illegal, it irked me that he didn’t feel comfortable with me and plain out told me what he was doing.

It was irrational, I knew that. But I was a woman madly in love.

These five days with him had been amazing, but it had also felt like we were tucked away from the world – as if we were hiding away in our own little bubble, not ready or willing to face reality. But I hoped that time spent apart would cure him of his unwillingness to share more of himself with me. I had to believe that was the case, because if not? There would be no future for us.