Page 31 of Lovestrung

“Are you all right?” The worry creased on Mama’s forehead made me determined to not fall apart at the seams in front of her.

“I’m just going to go fetch you and Dad something to drink.” I laughed, hoping she didn’t hear how hollow it was. “I’m being a bad hostess, forgetting to get you refreshments.”

I fled to the kitchen and pressed a hand against my churning stomach. With closed eyes, I felt my way through the kitchen until my hand found the fridge and I rested my forehead against the cool stainless steel. I groaned when I heard the footsteps from someone approaching me from behind.

“Penelope?”

“Not now, Ethan,” I pleaded.

“What’s wrong?”

His warm hand on my back made me shiver.

“Can’t you just leave me alone when I ask you to for once?”

“Are you sick?”

Was I?

At once, the answer was as clear as glass.

I was feeling homesick and I hadn’t even left yet.

I shook my head.

“No, I’m not sick. I just don’t think I can do this.”

His hands on my shoulders made me tense, but when he pressed down on them, I turned around. I couldn’t seem to face him, though, and kept my head lowered.

“This?” he asked.

“I don’t…I don’t think I can leave. I’m terrified.”

Pain lanced through me as I admitted how scared I was. I felt pathetic.

“Come on,” Ethan murmured and placed his hand on my cheek. “That doesn’t sound like the woman I know.”

I didn’t feel like the grown-up I kept insisting I was. Instead, I felt like that little girl again who dreamed big, but was secretly afraid of pursuing the dream. I dreaded the triumph I’d no doubt find in his gaze and held my breath.

“Why are you terrified?” he whispered.

“I’ve never travelled before. I’ve never been gone for so long. What if something happens to Gramps and I’m not here? What if…”

“There’s no use in thinking about what if’s,” he interrupted, his voice hard. “You’ve wanted to do this for a decade, Pippa. You need to do this. For yourself, but also…”

I opened my eyes when he cut himself off and frowned.

“Also?” I prompted.

He looked away and shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you go and have the time of your life.”

I put my hand on his wrist, holding him to me.

“I thought you’d say I should stay.”

His eyes snapped back to mine and he bent his head. “Never let fear hold you back, Penelope. Don’t give it the power to hold you from something you want. You hear me?”

I nodded as he raised his hands and framed my face.