Page 135 of Time To Learn

27

Kristian

“When isit the right time to tell a woman that you’re in love with her?” I ask Alex one Friday afternoon when we’re eating lunch in his office.

His hands holding a sandwich stop halfway to his mouth and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“You’re asking me that? How the fuck would Iknow?”

I sigh and take a sip from my water bottle.

“Look,” he starts after he’s taken a huge bite, “I’m clearly no expert, but I’m thinking that if you love someone, you should tell them the minute you realise that you’ve gone mental.”

My lips turn down in an unhappy frown.

“Just like that, yeah?”

“Fuck, yes. If you’re so sure of your own feelings, why keep them locked away? I’ve never understoodthat.”

I shrug.

“Probably because most people don’t simply blurt out their wayward thoughts like youdo.”

He swallows his food on a low chuckle.

“Well, maybe you’re right.” The amusement fades from his eyes and he frowns at me. “Honestly, though? If you know you love her, whywait?”

He does have a point, but baring my heart is a risk. Placing it on a platter, handing it over, when I don’t even know if Laura feels the same way makes me vulnerable. Exposed. I’m not used to that. Sometimes, it feels like she does, but until I hear the words fall from her sweet lips, I won’t know for certain.

As we finish our lunch, I can’t help but wonder if the way Laura looks at me sometimes is her way of telling me that she feels the same way but is too scared to say the words. Given her past, I can’t say I blameher.

I thought I knew what love was before I met her. First, there was Rebecca, and then Emma—why else would I have felt so hollow and broken when she turned me down? But the feelings I harbour towards my Scottish sweetheart are so much stronger, I’m starting to think that maybe I was never really in love with Emma. Not completely. Maybe only half in love…but is there even such a thing?

I feel so much more when I’m with Laura. Maybe too much. These feelings are too intense. Too overwhelming.

As if she knows I’m thinking about her, my phone pings with a text. I pick it up and swipe the screen, unable to wipe the foolish grin off my lips when I read hertext.

Laura: Want to go to the Oran Mor tonight? Mum and Ailith want to have a private slumber party, and I’ve been ordered out of the house.

My grin turns into a full-blown smile, and I text her back like an overeager teenager.

Kristian: Absolutely. We close at eight. Want to stop by here first, and we’ll head there together?

Laura: Sounds good. See you tonight, baby. xx

Fuck. It hits me straight in my cock every single time she calls methat.

Kristian: Can’t wait to see you, sweetheart. x

“Fuck, lad, you’re so far gone, it’s not even funny to tease you about it,” Alex grumbles beside me. He gives me a soft jab on my shoulder with his fist, but I just shake my head athim.

All I can think about the rest of the afternoon is seeing Laura again.

* * *

Laura

“Mummy, can we keep Thunder?”Ailith asks me as I glide down from his back, careful not to startlehim.