Page 54 of Pretender

“That’s so sad.” Mark chuckles, but he means it. It’s pathetic, is what it is.

“Yep, I’ll take whatever I can get.”

“And except for pretend affection, what is it you can get?”

“Her friendship.”

Mark stares at the side of my face now, and I wait for him to call me sad again.

“Good,” he says instead. “She’ll fall for you once she gets to know you.”

“You mean that, don’t you?” I chuckle and straighten up, finished with this pressing heat.

“Of course.” Mark grins. “You’re great.”

“You’re such a sweetie, Mark, I can see Rey has mellowed you a bit.”

“Fuck off,” Mark says, swinging his towel around his neck as he stands up. “I’ve always been a sweetie.” He steps down and out of the sauna. “Having breakfast?” he adds.

“Can’t, I’m having brunch with Mum, Will, and Linnea.” I groan, knowing I have to sit with this mess in my chest next to someone who’s unattainable.

“Just keep being you. She’ll get there.”

“I’ve been me around her for two years,” I muse.

“Maybe.” Mark shrugs.

I knit my brow. Maybe? “Hm.”

“You said you told her about your dad, but I’m sure you didn’t. You’ve not talked about him to any of us for years, and I’ve not wanted to push, but will you open up to her?”

“Mark…” I wipe my brow with my towel, the sweat has turned cold already. “I haven’t talked about it, because … my dad was a fucking mess. And it fucking hurts even thinking about him.”

Mark opens his mouth, but no words come out.

I shrug. That’s as much as I can say before I want to punch something. Which is what I did when I found out about it all and drank a bottle of whiskey to forget it. Almost broke my hand. Entirely broke the hallway wall, which Mum likes to joke about. She assumes I was just drunk.

“You’re not, though,” Mark says.

“This situation isn’t a mess?”

“Not unless you make it so. Just tell her.”

I exhale and close my eyes. The various scenarios of how she’ll react flicker behind my eyelids. None of them end with her jumping into my arms saying ‘take me home’.

“Maybe later.”

Today, I just need to get through this brunch.

LINNEA

Aiden’s waiting in the car when I exit my house, and I’m queasy as I walk up to the tinted window, uncertain of how today will go. One thing is pretending to be a couple at a party. Dark, lots of people, our awkwardness allowed to go unnoticed. Now it’ll be just us, sitting right in front of Amara. Lying straight to her face for hours.

I inhale deeply, not moving, and the window opens.

Aiden’s forehead and then eyes come into view, then his mouth.

His smirk.