Page 142 of Pretender

“And now you’re sure.”

“Yes. We’re both sure about each other. Most of the time. Every day is a choice.”

I search her face for an inkling of something. Does she sense something is off with me? Why is she sharing all this?

“I’m very happy for you. Aiden is too.”

“Oh, yes. He loves Will.”

“Because he brings out your light, Aiden said.”

“Like Aiden for you, right?”

I blink, swallow hard, and nod. “Exactly,” I say, but it’s barely a whisper.

The day goes by in a blur of reviewing the hall where we’ll have the meal after the ceremony, going through decor placement with their coordinator, and meeting various family members of Will’s, hearing all about their family’s history in the area.

Before dinner, I take a breather and walk through the woodland gardens. The path is lined with blooming hydrangeas and tall rhododendrons, and I stroll around for over an hour, willing my brain to be void of thoughts of Aiden and what we need to do.

Instead, I try to focus on the way the sun bursts through the leaves above me, the smell of the grass and something floral, the odd clanking of a cowbell, and the hum of nearby bees.

When I return to the house, or I’d like to call it a small castle, I take a moment to remind myself why I’m here. Amara’s face is clear in my mind. Her joy. What Aiden said about her sacrificing so much for him her entire life and now he just wants her to focus on herself.

I’m here for Amara.

Keep smiling.

With every step towards the family dinner I tell myself this new mantra.

Smile for Amara. Smile for Amara.

“There you are,” she croons when I enter the dining room. “I was worried you’d got lost out there.”

“It’s a vast garden,” Will’s brother, Tom, says.

“More like a forest,” Will adds.

“It is. What a place to grow up,” I say, pleased my voice comes out as intended. “You must have had a blast playing hide and seek.”

Tom nods, laughing. “My God, we did. There was one time Mother couldn’t find us and had the entire staff searching the gardens for hours.”

“We were in the pantry,” Will croaks through laughter, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. “Tom was stuffing his face with the chocolates meant for our birthday cake.”

The evening continues in the same spirit. Tom shares stories of Will’s shenanigans, and Will’s easy chuckles fill the room alongside Amara’s loud laughter. I’m genuinely enjoying this. And it feels as if I belong.

But I don’t.

I’m here as Amara’s son’s fake girlfriend. Sure, it turned real… So fucking real it stings my chest just thinking about it, and now I don’t know what to do. I just want time to pass quickly.

“Are you okay, Linnea?” Amara asks from my right.

“Oh, yes, why? Do I look tired?”

“Maybe that’s it. You don’t have to sit here with us oldies. We’re going to have a drink, but we’ll head to bed soon as well. Did you find your room okay, do you want me to walk you up?”

“I remember where it is. Thank you, though.”

“I wake up at the crack of dawn these days. Are you alright to eat when it suits you? Please get me when you’re up, and I’ll sit with you.”