Page 44 of Falling for Keeps

Penny tries to shake her head, but I hold it in place. “That’s scary.”

“It’s very scary,” I agree. “I think you’re already really brave. You started a new school, came to a new town, and crossed the road all on your own today. Those are very brave things.”

“Starting a new school isn’t brave.” She giggles. “My dad made me do that.”

“Because he’s looking out for you, huh? He loves you so much he wants to make sure you’re educated and given a chance to make friends in your new town.” I tilt her head gently to keep the braid going, and she holds it in place. “Don’t mistake it, though, Penny. Just because we have to do something, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t take bravery to get it done. You’re very brave.”

A fist knocks on the door, but neither of us can move quite yet. “It’s open,” I holler.

Carson lets himself inside. He’s wearing a Giants hoodie over charcoal sweats, and the dark circles beneath his eyes prove he hasn’t slept well. Deep gold hair sticks up in the back, and he has a red crease on his cheek from his pillow. Deliciously rumpled.

I’m sure I just look frumpy-rumpled. Frumpled.

“Good morning,” I say, putting my attention back on the hair. I finish up the braid and tie it off, then hide the end in the crown and pin it in place.

“Are we done?” Penny asks.

“Yep. Bathroom is through there if you want to look at it.” I point in the direction of my work-in-progress and try to smooth down my hair.

“You’re making me look bad,” Carson says, watching his daughter run across the room. “There’s no way I’ll ever be able to do something like that.”

I pick up the brush she brought and hand it to him. “You could if I taught you. It’s not nearly as complicated as it looks.”

“We’ve had this conversation. Dexterity, remember?” He wiggles his fingers for emphasis around the brush.

I’m conscious that I’m standing here in my old, worn-thin sweats and zero makeup. If he hadn’t totally friend-zoned me already, I’d be putting myself there as we speak. This is not how you present yourself to someone you want to date.

Or maybe it means we’re extra close now.

“I also remember the conversation about you being more capable than you like to make yourself sound.”

Carson rolls his eyes playfully. Then they track down my old, ratty PJs, and I want to curl into a ball and roll away.

“Why don’t you have a toilet?” Penny asks, coming out of the bathroom.

“I do. It’s not hooked up right now. I needed to move it so I could put in the new flooring.”

“You don’t have a toilet?” Carson asks. “Why didn’t you say how urgent your project is?”

I blink. Does the man really think I would wait on something so vital? “I have a bathroom upstairs, too.”

“Oh, nice.” He nods, glancing at the stairs, his gaze snagging there. “Well, we’d better go, Nickel.”

“Thank you, Ms. Emma.”

“Anytime,” I tell her.

Carson shoots me a look.

“Fine, not anytime. You need your dad’s permission first.”

“Yeah, we’ll be having a talk about this.” He gives me a self-effacing smile and lifts a hand. “See you later.”

Penny gives me a big, toothy grin, and I wrinkle my nose, smiling big back at her. When I close the door behind them, my house feels extra quiet.

I worked all morning, then left at lunch to spend the rest of the day on the chairs. It was slow in the library. Dale came in for the afternoon shift and Sophie, our volunteer, was in, so I took advantage of her presence and left.

On my way home, I pull into the driveway of the house I grew up in and take a deep breath. It’s hard to look at the front door to so many memories without thinking of the loss it represents as well.