Page 7 of The Planetary Systems Preservation Committee Decided We Needed a Nanny

A guy in a flannel with the sleeves cut off, dirty jeans, and muddy work boots joins into the conversation with a whole heap of scorn. “So, they’re just building a hospital? How do we know it’s going to be safe for humans? What if they call it a hospital, but it’s a euthanasia center? What if they’re lying to us to make us compliant so they can wipe us out?” The paranoia with this one is strong, Obi Wan.

I squint at the guy panicking about a hospital, and yeah, I can see how he might be able to get that paranoid, but c’mon. “President Fuckwit got us into a war with all of the countries the US has been allies with for most of last century, and you’re worried that maybe the aliens are going to do bad things to us? Honestly, I was expecting a draft letter this week since he issued that executive disorder. I’m usually all about ‘if I die, I die,’ but I’d rather find out if the aliens are offering a better alternative to dying in what will become a nuclear war.”

“Yeah, I’ve got three sons old enough for the draft,” an older lady adds, hands on her hips and attitude in her voice. “I’d rather my kids die fighting a space invasion than in a stupid, preventable, and unnecessary war.”

The paranoid guy grumbles something unintelligible before flipping us all the bird and running away like we might give chase. He gets about ten steps away from us and disappears. Completely. It’s my first abduction, though I did witness Lora disappearing from my living room, so I’m not a complete newb about it. Still. It’s startling to see a human disappear with a clap of thunder.

“Did they just—” the lady cuts herself off, and the wheelchair guy answers the unspoken question.

“Yeah. They took him for re-education. Give it a few seconds and he’ll be back, completely different.” He sounds like he knows what he’s talking about and looks like he’s seen some things, so I believe him.

We wait in silence, glancing between the hospital and the place the dude disappeared, and the wheelchair guy’s right. Thirty seconds later, paranoid guy reappears right where he was taken. He blinks a couple of times in stunned silence, then slow blinks like his system is coming back online, and then he shoots us a tentative smile. “Sorry about that. I might have been a little overzealous in my suspicion about the aliens' intentions. They assured me that the hospital is to serve humans and keep them healthy. The guy I talked to even said that they know a better treatment for cancer than chemotherapy. I’m going to be going in for treatment tomorrow.”

Wow. That’s impressive.

World Peace: check

Cure for cancer: check.

All we need is the end of poverty and we’ll have the trifecta of utopian ideals.

Honestly, I wouldn’t say no to that either.

CHAPTER SIX

Lora is waiting in my living room when I get back from my walk. He’s sitting exactly where he sat last time, and I don’t know if you’ve ever had a being twice your size occupy the space you live in, but I assure you, sitting is the only reasonable way he can comfortably be in my house.

“You’re here.” I should have said hello, but I was startled by the massive alien I wasn’t expecting, so I forgive myself the faux pas.

“I said I would come help you pack,” he confirms, sitting forward to greet me.

He’s on my couch with his legs crisscrossed on the floor, but he spreads them out and holds out his giant clawed hand to me.

I let him engulf mine in his, and he gently guides me between his legs… aaaaaannnd now I’m sitting on his thigh.

“This is weird. I feel weird. Why am I sitting on your lap?” It’s not like I haven’t been on his lap before, but that was a medically necessary lap-sitting. This is… weird.

He pats my back and gives it a little rub. “I was unsure if your walk was vigorous enough to warrant a rest period before we pack your items for your move to your new housing assignment. As I am taking up the entirety of your loveseat, I thought my lap would be comfortable. You enjoyed it last time.”

I press my lips into a line and give him a good hard stare before explaining, “It wasn’t your lap that made me moan when you were sucking on my neck. That is an erogenous zone for me, and your fangs stimulated that sensation rather than pain.” I was still a bloody mess after he was done and the nanites finished healing me. I caught a glimpse of a victim of mauling in the mirror when I got in the shower to clean up.

Lora’s smile is terrifying, what with the fangs and super sharp teeth and all, but his laugh is weirdly pleasant. Deep, soft, amused… I could stand to hear that again. It makes me feel the same way the sounds of rain or the noise of a river makes me feel. It’s comforting is what I’m saying. “I did not realize the neck was a sensitive area for humans beyond it being a vulnerability. Perhaps you would get used to it over time if you continued to donate, and it would no longer be so sensitive for you.”

Is he trying to get another bite out of me? “I’m pretty sure humans can’t donate a couple pints a week,” I point out, pulling my phone out of my pocket to look it up. “Ok, it says here that red blood cells take four to six weeks to regenerate. So, you can bite me again in a month.”

“I do not need a pint a day. I was injured. I require a mouthful of blood once a week unless I am injured.” His hand is getting dangerously close to my ass, though I can’t tell if he’s doing it on purpose or if he’s absentmindedly rubbing my back. I should say something if I want him to stop. Right. ScaryDarkAlienVampire…

“Why does your body require blood? And how does alien blood help you? I would think that blood from different planets would be non-nutritive and likely toxic.” I’ve seen War of the Worlds. I agree that bacteria would be the downfall of any alien invasion.

Lora rattles in approval, and his hand slips down to my ass as he explains. “We drink the blood of the species of the planets to gain their immunity to their world. Anything the native species isn’t immune to our medical system takes care of. We do have to continually renew the immune cells we receive from the planetary beings, because evolution is lazy. Since we are capable of continually drinking from our prey, it has not advanced us to a permanent immune solution.”

My brain latches onto the plural nouns he’s using. “So you guys go around the galaxy drinking people’s blood and building infrastructure a lot then?”

Lora’s laughter vibrates through me, causing the reflexive relaxation of my entire muscular system. “That is a fair summary of my species’ role in the galactic community. We are the enforcement branch of the Planetary Systems Preservation Committee. When the galactic alliance decides a life-bearing planet is in danger of collapse, we are tasked with guardianship over the planet because we are the only species in twelve galaxies capable of immediate immunity to the planet and its atmosphere. Our home planet is significantly larger than most planets where life has evolved, hence we are able to adapt to most gravitational variance. We will take custody of your species and your planet until your people can be trusted with your own survival.”

I take a moment to revel in a sleepy blink and find myself leaning on his chest and snuggling in like I belong here in his lap. I—I think his voice lured me in for a cuddle. “What just happened?” I ask, yawning.

He runs his huge hand up my back and down to my butt where it stays as he pats my cheeks. “It is svinthly. The time for rest. Sleep.”