Page 32 of The Planetary Systems Preservation Committee Decided We Needed a Nanny

And it repeats.

“Looks like the war is over,” Bee says, giving herself a long pour of our current bottle of wine.

I take the bottle when she’s done and do the same, holding up my glass to hers. “Here’s to never having to go through that again.”

She clinks my glass and we both take huge gulps. “You know, I realize that I have been extremely privileged to have never been front and center of any war, and right now, I’m really glad the aliens came to stop us from doing it to ourselves anymore. No one should have to go through that.”

Absolutely no one.

“This is why I’m a misanthrope,” I agree, pulling her in for a decent, comforting cuddle. I don’t think my heart has recovered from the moment I thought I lost Lora on live TV, and it may never.

“I’m beginning to see your point,” she replies softly, but it’s a lie. Bee has always supported my dislike of humans, and she has always worked toward a better humanity. She’s never going to give up the thing that makes her life meaningful.

I kiss the top of her head. “Liar.”

She chuckles softly. “I really am.”

***

It takes another four days before Lora returns, and I jump out of my skin, yelping like he hasn’t been teleporting in and out of my home for a couple of months when he does appear. The juice I’m pouring flies out of my hand with a jerk, soaking me from forehead to navel and then spilling all over the counter and floor.

Lora does that rattling laugh thing he does, reaching for one of the good kitchen towels.

“Not that one!” I yelp, smacking his hand away from the beautifully white towel. “That one is purely for decoration.”

Lora rattles in confusion. “Why do you need a towel for decoration?”

I freeze for a moment as I’m pulling one of the grungy dish towels from the drawer. Since the aliens have taken over, production of paper products has stopped, and as far as I can tell, everyone is back to using cloth towels and napkins for their messes. Since the aliens have installed water recyclers and sanitation stations, we’re actually using less water while also not continuing our deforestation.

“Ok, I’m going to guess that decorative towels are a holdover from the last century when we started decorating our kitchens since we were spending so much time in them. I have decorative towels because my mother did because her mother did. I’m not sure if her mother did, but that’s the explanation I have for you.” I’m pretty sure there’s an ancestor of mine who would be smacking me for wasting a useful towel on vanity. I can't prove it, but there’s a feeling in the atmosphere like someone is rolling over in their grave and grabbing a stick.

“I don’t think there is another known species that uses cleaning implements for decoration,” he comments, taking the grungy towel from me to clean up the mess on the counters while I wipe my face off with a damp towel.

“Humans are trend setters,” I tease, pulling my shirt off. “Are you back, or is this another brief visit?” I ask, hoping for the former.

Lora finishes his wipe down and pours me a glass of juice. “The war is over, and the enemy has retreated. I am no longer needed to coordinate the defense effort, and I have returned the responsibility of planetary defense to the team that monitors it during peaceful times.”

“Nice. Why did they give you that responsibility to begin with? Not that I’m complaining. I appreciated being able to see you on the TV whenever I wanted.” It only had that one devastating moment, and he dealt with that as fast as possible.

“I am a parent,” he reminds me as I gulp down more juice than I expected I’d need. I guess getting the shit scared out of you makes you thirsty? “I asked to be the coordinator, and they indulged me.”

Because in their society parents get what they want. I smile up at my huge alien. “Thank you for thinking of me.”

Lora takes the empty glass out of my hand and refills it with water from the tap (which tastes just like filtered water, so no complaints). “You are continuously in my thoughts, my Ollie.”

Awww.

And also, “I would very much like to share an orgasm or two with you to reinforce our romantic thoughts and intentions.” Notice how I put that in the same way he would have? I practiced this every day and refined it down to this because genuinely, I think I love this alien, and honestly, I’m not running from it since it’s literally the best offer I’ve had since I figured out I was gay.

Lora’s sexy rattle vibrates my body as he scoops me up, taking me straight to the couch that is sized for him. “I will enjoy sharing your orgasms today. Let us see how many you can experience before I exhaust you.”

“I do have a refractory period,” I remind him as he aggressively helps me out of my pants. “I have also been extremely diligent about douching, so I’m not uncomfortable with you using your tongue if you want to.”

Lora rattles his approval. “I will enjoy seeing your pleasure when you’re experiencing my tongue.”

And I will enjoy the use of his tongue for my pleasure. I’m so glad I don’t have to be jealous of myself. Past me couldn’t have predicted this, and future me better be getting this every fucking day.

Lora starts with gentle nips along my neck and shoulders, palming my decently chubbed up cock. His tongue sends shivers along my skin as he licks and kisses me until he reaches my extremely interested dick, and then he wraps that tongue around my shaft and squeezes in a rhythm that makes it feel like he’s milking my cock.