Page 14 of The Planetary Systems Preservation Committee Decided We Needed a Nanny

“Would it be more appropriate to initially assign housing blocks based on marital status and age rather than family groupings?” he asks in a tone that makes me think he’s asking for the entire collective.

The look Bee gives me says, “Yeah, but it’s more complicated than that,” so I realize that explaining complex human social structures is going to be my burden in this moment.

“Do you want a yes or no answer, or do you want an in depth cultural explanation?” I’m not going to waste breath if they’re not really that interested in the answer.

Someone on Lora’s device says something in their language and Lora replies, “In depth.”

“Alright. The thing is, what is appropriate for people in the US isn’t going to be appropriate for people south of here in Mexico or people across the ocean in China. You’re going to have to figure out what is most appropriate for every culture if that concerns you. Humans are adaptable, and sorting us into family groups, while problematic in some cases, will work itself out eventually. If people can move away from the people they don’t want to be around, if they can move toward the people they do want to be around, whatever you do initially isn’t going to be a long term problem.

“I think if you give people a choice about where they can go initially, they will sort themselves out. And if they don’t, you can sort them as you see fit. You mentioned putting families in the bigger homes, and it makes sense to have neighborhoods with families in them. Putting people in similar life stages is a really good idea because it gives them the opportunity to socialize and learn together, but giving them access to people who’ve already been through their stages is also a good learning opportunity. Homogeny isn’t usually a good idea with humans. We do better as humans when we’re in diverse environments.”

Bee agrees by pointing at me and announcing, “That. But let’s be honest, you’re going to get resistance from people when you’re moving them out of their homes and disrupting their routines. You can do your best to give people a choice, but don’t let them string you along or you won’t ever get it done.”

“People will resist,” I agree and smile at Lora. “But you can just reeducate them.”

Lora smiles back briefly, then a new discussion begins with the conference call he’s hosting.

Bee and I finish our cheese board, and by the time Lora’s done, our wine glasses are empty as well. I’m good and buzzed, and I stand up in the hot tub, keeping a grip on the edge to stay steady as I climb out. “I am cooked, buzzed, and ready for a cold shower. Lora, did you all decide if Bee can live next door?”

Lora catches me by the arm and keeps me stable as I wobble over to the shower. I must’ve had more wine than I thought.

“She can. Would you like a connecting doorway between your domiciles?” he offers as I start the shower and turn it to a nice cold temperature.

I smile up at him. Way, way up. He’s so tall. Like four feet taller than me. And he fits in the bathroom. The water for the shower comes out of the ceiling so Lora would totally fit in there with me.

“That’s his drunk face,” Bee says, stepping into my cold shower before me.

“Hey! I was gonna shower first!”

Bee rolls her eyes at me. “Bitch please. You decided to stare at your alien crush for too long, so now I get the shower first.”

I flip her the bird and look back at Lora, who’s watching with interest. I love my cousin, but I don’t think I really want Lora staring at her in her bikini, so I poke his waist at eye level. I have to really crane my head to look up his body when I’m this close…

Lora grabs me again, this time sweeping me up in his arms to put me at closer to eye level. “You may be too inebriated to be trusted with wet ceramic.”

I blink as I parse that sentence. Too drunk for wet… tile. He thinks I’m too drunk to take a shower! I smile up at him. “I guess you’ll just have to join me.”

“I’m done!” Bee announces, grabbing her towel off the rack and stepping out of the walk in shower. It’s really big enough for all three of us, if I’m looking at it right, but I’m glad she’s out.

“Good. Get the fuck out of my apartment and text me when you get home. Love you.”

Bee snorts. “Yeah, yeah. I’m leaving. Do not fuck the drunk human. He cannot consent when he’s been drinking.”

Her warning bounces right off me, but Lora’s chest vibrates something wonderful. “I would never.”

I pout at them both, but I’m not drunk enough to argue because yeah, actually, drinking = no.

“You can still keep me steady while I shower off the Bee water.” Do I sound pleading? Probably. Do I care? Nope, that’s what the alcohol is for.

“Buh-bye!” Bee yells, walking out of the bathroom and closing the door firmly.

“Look at my cousin being the best wingman ever,” I sigh happily. “Shower time!”

Lora rattles.

Drunk-Ollie doesn’t know if it’s positive, negative, or neutral, but it sure feels nice against my body. “Your purrs are so sexy.”

Lora rattles again. “This is not a purr. It’s a… holdover from when our evolutionary ancestors were able to growl.”